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Elephants
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9261
Location: south island New Zealand
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 1:48 pm    Post subject: Elephants Reply with quote
Why do Elephants have Big Ears???

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because Noddy wouldnt pay the ransom Very Happy Very Happy

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1709
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 4:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
I reckon that'll pass over most here at Mach 2, 50,000' & climbing. Very Happy
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Pumpkinslinger
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 5003
Location: NC foothills
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 5:09 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
You're right Mike ...

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"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 10:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
Oh wow Elvis...you are tryin' to take away my title of sickest joke ain't ya mate. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

But with jokes like that one, ya deserve it mate...that is a classic.

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9261
Location: south island New Zealand
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 1:14 am    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
hehehehehe yip for those who dont quite get it you had a deprived childhood. Noddy was a great lot of books and later tv programmes for kids his bestest buddy was Big Ears

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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:23 am    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
I dont think this made a lot of sense to the North American contingent.

Its good to get off the sheep subject for a change........

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11395
Location: Ava, Missouri
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:42 am    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
Sheep??!!?? Where???

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9261
Location: south island New Zealand
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 12:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
what does Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep farmer have in common???







Mick sings "hey you get off of my cloud"





the farmer shouts "hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1709
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 2:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
One of my schoolmates wrote a Noddy book called "Noddy the Killer Axeman" after seeing the movie "A Clockwork Orange".
It was a classic piece of male teenage bloodlust.

For some reason he decided that publishers would reject it. Very Happy
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 6:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
English Mike wrote:
One of my schoolmates wrote a Noddy book called "Noddy the Killer Axeman" after seeing the movie "A Clockwork Orange".
It was a classic piece of male teenage bloodlust.

For some reason he decided that publishers would reject it. Very Happy

That was on sick movie.
Careful Mike your showing your age.......

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1709
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
dhc4ever wrote:
English Mike wrote:
One of my schoolmates wrote a Noddy book called "Noddy the Killer Axeman" after seeing the movie "A Clockwork Orange".
It was a classic piece of male teenage bloodlust.

For some reason he decided that publishers would reject it. Very Happy

That was on sick movie.
Careful Mike your showing your age.......

Fifty three but feeling a lot older of late. Bomb
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11395
Location: Ava, Missouri
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 7:13 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
Well get over feeling "old". Another hunting season starts soon over here.

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
I dont get it!

When's upland start Bushkicker? I got half a mind ta fly down there and and snag all them yummy birdies out from under yer bead when we go out.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11395
Location: Ava, Missouri
PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:11 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
What?? Fall turkey?


@#$%^&*!!!! I still don't get the joke...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Elephants Reply with quote
Pfft- yuo can buy a turkey....roosters man! And quail and stuff!

I still dont either.... Sad
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