after vince's bad joke crown......

gelandangan

GROOOOAN!!!

Elvis

ok ok ok alright a joke with a hunting theme.

what do you call a deer with no eyes???

a no idea

how about a deer with no eyes and no legs????

a still no idea.....

Ominivision1

dhc4ever

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob

Elvis

ok dhc4ever you started this one...
a Irishman with no hair?
SEAN
an Irishman with a spade?
DOUG
An Irishman without a spade?
Douglas
An Irishman holding a rabbit in each hand?
Warren
An Irishman standing in a pile of leaves?
Russel
and finally one for Suz
what do you call an Irishman with a short whizzer?

Justin....

English Mike

What do you call...

....a woman who sets fire to her credit card bill?

Bernadette.

.....a man wearing a raincoat?

Mac

.....a man wearing two raincoats?

Max

.....a man wearing two raincoats & standing in a cemetery?

Max Bygraves (that's another one the Cousins will miss....).

English Mike

Two snowmen are standing in a field- one turns to the other and says "can you smell carrots?"

Last night I dreamed somebody was shouting "on your marks get set go" at me & I woke up with a start!

Vince

Pomgolia Mike wrote:

...Two snowmen are standing in a field- one turns to the other and says "can you smell carrots?"

Mike that is too good to be a sick joke mate...it's brilliant. Very Happy

and now...one for a giggle...

The Archbishop of Canterbury
and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness
announced today that the climate in the UK
should no longer be referred to as ‘British Weather’

Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as:

'Muslim Weather'
*
*
*
*
( Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite )

Cheers, Vince

Elvis

hemeroids are just a bloody pain in the arse.

dhc4ever

Elvis wrote:

hemeroids are just a bloody pain in the arse.

Spell that phonically in kiwi you get;

Himeroids are just a bloody pain in the arse.

Which would be correct, never let a "him" near your arse Shocked

Vince

Before we degenerate too far...I'll pop in another giggle.

The Outhouse

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out,
"Pa ! You need to go out and fix the outhouse !"

Pa replies,
"There ain't nuthin' wrong with the outhouse."

Ma yells back,
"Yes there is ,now git out there and fix it."

So Pa moseys out to the outhouse,looks around and yells back,
"Ma ! There ain't nuthin' wrong with the outhouse !"

"Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole !"

wtf

Pa yells back,
"I ain't stickin' my head in that hole !"

"Ma says,
"Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around Confused

and yells back,
"Ma ! There ain't nuthin' wrong with this outhouse !"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole !"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, Shocked

"Ma ! Help ! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat !" Shocked

To which Ma replies,
"Hurts, don't it ?!" Embarassed

Cheers, Vince

Elvis

ouch...
the IRA had to stop thier members from trying to blow up cars.

too many were burning thier lips on the exhaust pipes.

camel

What do you call a woman with one leg????

Eilene

What do you call a woman with no legs????

Noelene

Elvis

what do you call an owl with 1 leg longer than the other 1 wing shorter than the other 1 eye larger than the other?
(you have to use a maori accent and string it together)
Noteven Al

English Mike

Vince wrote:

Pomgolia Mike wrote:

...Two snowmen are standing in a field- one turns to the other and says "can you smell carrots?"

Mike that is too good to be a sick joke mate...it's brilliant. Very Happy

and now...one for a giggle...

The Archbishop of Canterbury
and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness
announced today that the climate in the UK
should no longer be referred to as ‘British Weather’

Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as:

'Muslim Weather'
*
*
*
*
( Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite )

Cheers, Vince

Good one matey. Very Happy

"If Dorothy found herself surrounded by those with no hearts, no brains and no courage, she wouldn’t be in Oz, she’d be in Congress."