Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
• Albums: 308
• Pictures: 2452 · Views: 825007 · Votes: 1316
· Comments: 86
|
Joining the new congregationJokes, funny stories and general humor
View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15725 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
|
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 6:30 pm Post subject: Joining the new congregation |
|
Three couples decided to join an exclusive church. The first couple was married for 10 years, the second was married for five years, and the third were newlyweds.
The three couples came before the priest and asked to join the congregation. The priest said: "As you know this is a very exclusive church, and we can't let just anyone join. In order to become a member you must pass a test. To join you must forego sex for a month." The couples agreed to the terms and went their separate ways.
After a month, the couples returned to the church and stood before the priest. "How did you do on your trial?" he asked the couple married for 10 years.
"We did fine," they replied. "We've been together so long that not having sex was easy."
"Welcome to the congregation," the priest said. He then turns to the couple married for five years and asks them: "How did you do on your trial?"
"We did okay," they replied. "There were a couple of tough spots here and there, but we held out and refrained from sex."
"Welcome to the congregation," the priest said. He then turned to the newlyweds and asked "How did you do on your trial?"
The couple is sheepishly silent for a minute and then finally the husband speaks up. "Father, it was hard but we did really well. Right up to the last day. My wife was handling some tomatoes and dropped one. When she bent down to pick it. I couldn’t resist. I had to have her straight away. We had the most passionate love we ever had in our relationship, trying things we had never done before. It was amazing, but sorry father, we failed."
"That's disgusting!" The priest exclaimed. "Why would you do that? You have to leave and never come back!"
The wife finally spoke up and said: "That's exactly what they said to us at the supermarket."
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Tremblay Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 Posts: 2656 Location: Malta, Montana
|
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:28 pm Post subject: Re: Joining the new congregation |
|
_________________ Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
|
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 11:08 pm Post subject: Re: Joining the new congregation |
|
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8316 Location: Fort Worth TX
|
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:41 pm Post subject: Re: Joining the new congregation |
|
come-on guys? haven't you heard that one before? Maybe it took awhile to get down-under.
_________________ "To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Tremblay Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 Posts: 2656 Location: Malta, Montana
|
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:43 pm Post subject: Re: Joining the new congregation |
|
slimjim wrote: |
come-on guys? haven't you heard that one before? Maybe it took awhile to get down-under. |
Could be but it is funny anyhow
_________________ Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot attach files in this forum You cannot download files in this forum
|