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The husband store
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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chambered221
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Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 3455
Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 4:39 pm    Post subject: The husband store Reply with quote

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may
go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is
a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value
of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper
may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to
the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor
the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help
with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store
just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
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Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 12:11 am    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

oh yeah where do we find this store again???

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Elvis
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 12:11 am    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

oh yeah where do we find this store again???

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chambered221
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 4:04 pm    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

They didn't qualify for the bailout..........had to close the doors !!! Sorry !!! Sad

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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7673
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 6:40 pm    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

Thanks for a good chuckle! I needed it!

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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 8:33 pm    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

Yep always wanting more, mediocrity is so common. Honey! Can you be a dear and go to the store and pick up some ice cream? No.....beer is too expensive, just get some ice cream....no I've never heard of a beer float....all they have is shrimp ice cream??!!....never heard of it.....oh...ok....pick up some beer instead......while you're there...well actually I'll call ahead and they can give you the rest of the stuff I need.....tampons, condoms, KY Jelly, nylons and hair spray....Oh you don't think you want any beer?....Well I sure would like some ice cream.....



Suz

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Elvis
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Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:06 am    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

your a crack up Suz

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Elvis
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:06 am    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

your a crack up Suz

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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7673
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 4:40 am    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

Elvis, are you pulling the trigger twice or is this an equipment malfunction? I've noticed this on several of your posts lately.

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"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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slimjim
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Posts: 7673
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 4:41 am    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

Suzanne wrote:
Yep always wanting more, mediocrity is so common. Honey!

Suz, as usually a response the rounds out the perspective!
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:32 pm    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

Sometime I get a little too much fun out of this.


neverending
Suz

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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7622
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 11:08 pm    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

we have just got broadband and everything is much faster i will try single trigger pull.

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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7622
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 11:08 pm    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

we have just got broadband and everything is much faster i will try single trigger pull.

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Aloysius
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Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2146
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:53 am    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

Elvis, is this what they call "double tap"? The first one to stretch the Kevlar and the second one to penetrate?
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1108
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 1:55 pm    Post subject: Re: The husband store Reply with quote

Elvis,

slow down southern man! Us Northern folk have been broadbanded for years. No more double taps, yer might run out of ammo - ie Gigabytes

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