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The 10 Commandments
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15704
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:18 pm    Post subject: The 10 Commandments Reply with quote

HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

God went to the Arabs and said,
'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested..'


So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
'Honor thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
We're not interested.'


Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'


Then He went to the French and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'


Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
'I have Commandments..'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'



There. That, should just about upset everybody. Surprised Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6396
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 2:08 am    Post subject: Re: The 10 Commandments Reply with quote

Haha
bwahahahahahahaha

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9239
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 2:41 am    Post subject: Re: The 10 Commandments Reply with quote

oh boy your on fire tonight. very very funny thankyou.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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pete4d
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Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 957
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 5:03 am    Post subject: Re: The 10 Commandments Reply with quote

Laughing

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date

The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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Pumpkinslinger
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 5001
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:47 am    Post subject: Re: The 10 Commandments Reply with quote

Gotta admit, that made me really laugh out loud!

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11390
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:59 am    Post subject: Re: The 10 Commandments Reply with quote

What's even worse...It made sense. Laughing

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 8:39 am    Post subject: Re: The 10 Commandments Reply with quote

Haha Haha

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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