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Aunt Karen
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2612
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:20 pm    Post subject: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment...
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess." "What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."

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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

Sounds like a great gal, any relation to you Suz??

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:05 pm    Post subject: Re: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

Stay away from me if I HAVE'NT been drinking.

Suz

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yorg
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Joined: Apr 19, 2011
Posts: 9
Location: North central Alberta, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

Great tale. Great screen name too - I'm presently loading for an 1895SS guide gun, the boys are happy with how the rounds work, and I won't shoot that one but enjoy their trapdoor. 45-70 for chairman!

Georges from Alberta

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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:03 pm    Post subject: Re: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

deangraziosi = spammer?

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 11:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

Ominivision1 wrote:
deangraziosi = spammer?

YUP...I RECKON SO.

Cheers, Vince

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(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

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(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11390
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 7:09 am    Post subject: Re: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

Man...We (including me) sure have become paranoid about spammers lately.

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

Ominivision1 wrote:
deangraziosi = spammer?

Yep

Spammer
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DallanC
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Joined: Jan 18, 2005
Posts: 3571
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Aunt Karen Reply with quote

Yep its an automated response. Kindof surprised they updated their scripts to work with this software. I dont mind someone with a link to another site in their signature, as long as they are coherently posting / responding to other content on the site.

This though is a bot response that pulls out a user name, some key words etc, and formats a response only to get the tagline link posted.

I will take care of it. If he is a valid gun nut he can email me and I will re-instate him.


-DallanC
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