Well I am getting better but I do still miss her voice telling me what to ask about in school for Adrian or the doctors or whatever else we had to do. Friday was the first day I did not dig out my cellular phone(That is what they actually are folks! HA HA HA!! Even though I do have a "Smart Phone!) and call home at break to check on things. Not sure if I like that or not!!!

I know somewhere there will be another gal to help make us a new kind of whole again, but I am not in any rush to find her. Maybe find some friends for eating with first! I do miss that as well even if I was just eating a hamburger from a fast food joint, Cathy came out to spend time with me.
Luckily we talked about this time many times before she went Home. And she consistently said: "I want you to be happy." Which is making things a bit easier for me. She even tried to "kick me out" about a year before saying the same thing and "You never signed on for this!" I told her to stop and that I wasn't going to go anywhere! I am not going to say I never thought of going somewhere else(another woman). But I couldn't bring myself to break my vow to her and more importantly to God! I stood in God's house in front of about three hundred people and said I would take care of her weather or not we had money or health. Well we had no money and she had some pretty bad health. Still stayed the course! Glad I did too!! Even though the outcome was known, I knew what I was doing when I did it. And she showed me that there is alot more inside of you that can help you do what needs done when you have faith in something and will do whatever it takes to make things better!

It will take time and there just is no way to hurry it along. I will be fine but there are just things that seem to hit something and let me know I do still have a pain in the heart. I have been trying to do things outside of the apartment if I don't need to be here. I have gotten involved in a couple of organizations here locally and hope to have some good contacts and outcomes from them.

Then there is the trip for her marker. I have go and do that with her mom, it is only right her mom be in on the choosing. One day at a time, then another and another.................

Once again....Thanks for just being here!!! It really does help a guy out!!!!
And there are only a few places on the Web where I feel this "at home" with total strangers!!!!!! This is one of them!!!!

Arron, thanks for sharing. Take it one day at a time! You will find your next angel when the time is right!!

As Slim said Arron...thanks for sharing mate...and take it one day at a time.

When the time is right, you will "bump" into a lady that will become your new life...no need to rush into it mate...just enjoy your time with Adrian for now.

Cheers, Vince

Nodda problem...Just wish we could do more...

Take your time. You need to spend some time to recapture yourself as a person before you can join with another and be happy with yourself and your new choice.

I agree with Paul....find yourself FIRST. I dove in too soon and wasn't ready and broke a nice gal's heart....that screwd with me even more!

Slow and steady bud. This is YOU time.

Ya also aint no stranger...yer a Brother of the Hunt and a fellow Nut!

And, I believe, you have a youngster to helpalong too.

Please email when you get a chance.
Vint2

Glad to see you are improving, and as Stovepipe nailed it, we are no strangers, as as stranger knows nothing about you, let alone care about you, and it's obvious even to a blind man that a lot of people here do! Never met God, but when i am in trouble, (And that's a lot more times than i like) he is always the one i turn to first!.... United we stand, divided we fall!

Cheers.... Your mate erny!

I'm very, very sorry to here of your loss Arron, my prayers are with you. One day at a time ....... one day at a time and don't rush. Look after your young one and let things happen as they may, don't hurry things along, take your time.

Yes folks I do have a little guy running around!!!Adrian he is five almost six. That is why I said I am not in any rush to find "her" if I meet her tomorrow then I meet her tomorrow! If I never meet "her" then I never do! It is just part of the game of life. All I can do is hold on and trust what I am being led to run with. I have NOTHING to prove to anyone other than myself! And When "she" finds us then it will the right time. I am just not going to go faster than I should.

I think of Cathy a fair bit everyday and sometimes it brings sadness or even a fun feeling. I know where she is and I am happy for her! Some day we shall meet again and maybe have a dance. I am a terminal "white guy" sorry but I have no "groove" ability!!! HA HA !! I stepped on her toes more times when we were dating than I care to admit. I finally told her...GO: dance!!! I'll watch!!!!! HE HE!!!

Anyway life is slowly finding a normal place!!! Work is being a stupid place again they are saying I am missing too many days!! Well WHOOPTY DO!!!! Wonder why the heck that IS!!!!!????? Haven't had decent vacation in almost 9 years and they wonder why I don't want to be there!!! Dang FMLA law!!!! I am glad it is there but man it really needs to be looked at so that long term caregivers of sick folks can get some down time and not have to have it STOLEN from them through FMLA... I mean I am glad it is there is has saved my backside a time or two. But there should be someway to get guy a few days off with pay somewhere. Oh well that is the way it is when we sell of our humanity to the corporate world of "money think groups" I just deal with it!!! " Just keep swimming!" Oh yeah I am not a good swimmer either!!! HA HA HA!!!!