HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: IPutMoInYoA
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13131

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 161
BOT: 1
Total: 162
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Statistics
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Your Account
05: Forums
06: Your Account
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Photo Albums
15: Home
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Photo Albums
21: Home
22: Your Account
23: Forums
24: Your Account
25: Photo Albums
26: Home
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Photo Albums
30: Home
31: Home
32: Your Account
33: Home
34: Forums
35: Your Account
36: Your Account
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Your Account
43: Home
44: Home
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Your Account
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Home
51: Home
52: Your Account
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Home
56: Forums
57: Home
58: Home
59: Home
60: Your Account
61: Forums
62: Home
63: Home
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Photo Albums
67: Forums
68: Home
69: Your Account
70: Forums
71: Home
72: Home
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Home
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Your Account
81: Photo Albums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Home
85: Forums
86: Photo Albums
87: Your Account
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Home
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Home
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Home
98: Photo Albums
99: Photo Albums
100: Forums
101: Home
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Your Account
105: Home
106: Your Account
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Home
113: Home
114: Home
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Home
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Photo Albums
123: Forums
124: Home
125: Home
126: Home
127: Home
128: Home
129: Photo Albums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Home
133: Forums
134: Your Account
135: Home
136: Forums
137: Home
138: Forums
139: Your Account
140: Home
141: Your Account
142: Home
143: Forums
144: Home
145: Forums
146: Forums
147: Forums
148: Forums
149: Your Account
150: Your Account
151: Home
152: Photo Albums
153: Forums
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Forums
157: Forums
158: Photo Albums
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Your Account
  BOT:
01: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824013
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Life in the Australian Army
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:13 pm    Post subject: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Life in the Australian Army...

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am . But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Sheila
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15713
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Just a few notes in way of explanation for Radar's post:

Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland- about 1500km West of the State Capitol where I live...still in the same State though.

buggered - means tired...not what ya thinkin

Ekka - The annual Exhibition Show in Brisbane for the country folks where they display their livestock etc

it's a piece of piss!! - means about as easy as it can get.

boozer - Bar...where they serve up copious quantities of beer...a great place

Thanks Radar...a great post mate.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Tue May 11, 2010 1:20 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 10:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

No. Thank you Vince, I forgot to include a glossary of terms for our vernacular. Cheers mate
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2010 3:45 am    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Vince, it was fun trying to figure it out. Thanks for the confirmation.

Radar, thanks for the smile today.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Arron
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 20, 2006
Posts: 352
Location: Cen.Iowa, by way of SWIowa

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2010 9:35 am    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Oh I have never known what exactly a "stone" was equal to in weight. The rest I pretty much figured out. Thanks to the EXCELLENT teachings of those "blokes" on here from that side of the world.

_________________
What do I know: I am just a line animal.
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5944

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2010 5:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

1 stone is 14 pounds.

So for me, I'm 6ft 2in and 16 stone. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 4:22 am    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Your a big guy! Did you play rugby?
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5944

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 7:51 am    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

I did bit, played a bit of football too.

I'd like to eventually get back down to 14 stone or so though (195 pounds) like I was last spring. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 4:39 pm    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
played a bit of football too.

Would that be American Football or Soccer (what the world calls football)?

I thought the Canadians skipped american-style football and just started the hockey season early.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.