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Punography
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12989
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 5:35 am    Post subject: Punography Reply with quote

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now .

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Donut Slayer
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2007
Posts: 594
Location: Pensacola, Florida

PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:58 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
Browning X-Bolt in 30'06. The work for a pet load starts again. Wink The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6894
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 11:51 pm    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

too punny!!!

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2236
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:51 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

Sorry Vince,
No prizes for second.....

www.huntingnut.com/ind...pic&t=9186

Smile

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6894
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:17 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

so it should be in the varmit section then???
under groundhog day!!!!

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12989
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:49 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

BUGGER...it hasn't been a good month for me in more ways than one. Sorry Pete. Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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English Mike
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1100
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:45 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

Send him to the punitentiary.
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6894
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

well you poms cant very well send him off to the penal colony now can you!!!!

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12989
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:28 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5693
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 4:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2236
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:17 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

Yeah look what happened last time they tried.
Havent they just won their first cricket game against us in decades?
See you do reap what you sow.....

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6894
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 1:40 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

best not be talking about the cricket Embarassed .... our jokers are not doing very well either Sad

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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fnuser
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 911
Location: S.W. Missouri, U.S.A.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:36 am    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

Thanks again vince

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English Mike
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1100
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Punography Reply with quote

Elvis wrote:
well you poms cant very well send him off to the penal colony now can you!!!!

Internal exile matey. Very Happy
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