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Men Are Just Happier People
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5877
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:01 pm    Post subject: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

Just read it on another forum, though you guys might appreciate it..


Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a waterpark.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John
will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £42.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13658
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

Ain't that the truth Radar.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7578
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 12:24 am    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

very good GELAN...

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5877
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 1:32 am    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:30 am    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

I'll admit I like that one tremendously, I smiled all the way through it, can you get me a beer sweetie?

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10584
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:39 am    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

"can you get me a beer sweetie?"

That's my line....

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Ominivision1
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 8:43 am    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Ain't that the truth Radar.

Very Happy Smile I think you need a few more brews and you'll get it right. Very Happy

Good one Geland

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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radar
Super Member
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1108
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:53 am    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

NICE!

Again I won't show it to HRH.

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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Aloysius
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Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2142
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:16 am    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

Is that Her Royal Highnes?
I didn't know the Aussis still had one...
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dhc4ever
Super Member
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2366
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Are Just Happier People Reply with quote

Aloysius wrote:
Is that Her Royal Highnes?
I didn't know the Aussis still had one...

MMMM, close but no cigar.
Radar is from UNZUD (New Zealand) and by mutual agreement definately NOT an Aussie.
Yet. Laughing wait until the South Pacific version of the Eurozone gets a lift off.
The first act of that Parliament will be to absorb the All Blacks into the Wallabies rugby team, all other problems are secondary to that.........

As to the Queen, Yep both Australia and new Zealand are still borrowing the English queen and the Westminster system of Government.
Why not become a "republic"? basically because we don't trust our politicians to stuff around with the current constitution to the peoples advantage, nor will they give us a bill of rights that actually cant be stuffed around with.
This WILL all come to a head when Queen Elizabeth dies sometime in the next 15 to 20 years, that will be an interesting time.

And as to his HRH comment, he meant SWMBO Razz

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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