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Captain Smithers
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13981
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 6:00 am    Post subject: Captain Smithers Reply with quote

In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said "You must meet Captain Smithers, my right-hand man. God, he's really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three foot tall.

"Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."

"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines.
I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of ...."

Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, the CO can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to get knotted."

Shocked Shocked wtf wtf Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Wed Nov 06, 2013 11:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:38 am    Post subject: Re: Captain Smithers Reply with quote

I can see a Monty Python sketch in that one


Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3718
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 6:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Captain Smithers Reply with quote

In the military you don't get the doctor or the mechanic mad at you... I don't remember anyone mentioning a witchdoctor. I can, however, see the potential for risk.

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Paul
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2448
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Captain Smithers Reply with quote

Smithers......
wasnt he the author of "Risk management and what it can do for you"?

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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