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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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 Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 3:34 am Post subject: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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Condom factory burns down in New Zealand :
Helen Clarke, ex-Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4 a.m by the telephone.
"Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy !! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."
PM: "Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. W'ill be ruined."
Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from Brutain ?"
PM: "No chence. The Poms will have a field day on thus one.
Hilth Munister: "What about Australia ?"
PM: "I'll call Tony Abbott. Tell him we need one million condoms, ten enches long and eight enches thuck. That way they'll continue to respect the 'All Blacks'."
Three days later, a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Pist Office.
She finds one million condoms - 10 enches long, 8 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.
"MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM"
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Cheers, Vince 
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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gelandangan
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Bushmaster
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pete4d
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radar
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Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 5:46 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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The REAL story was actually the other way round! Vince just didn't want to be shown up .....
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gelandangan
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Location: Sydney Australia
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 6:28 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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LOL Not so..
Here in Oz, the guberment is payin out $$$ for us to procreate..
They would look at condom shortages as a boon.
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Elvis
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 7:12 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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ho hummmm.
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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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dhc4ever
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:48 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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Shouldn't tat have been size small?
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Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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gelandangan
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Location: Sydney Australia
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:22 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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Also I thought them kiwis would be happier, I'm sure they could do with them extra sheep for export..
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Bushmaster
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 11:01 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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And the Aussie verses NZ wars begin...Again.
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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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gelandangan
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| Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 1:27 am Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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Nah Bushy, we love your Long Clouds cuzins.
Its ANZAC and all... without them we would be AAC.. such an ugly name.
Besides knowing how to make sheep happy.. they are also good mates.
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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
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Elvis
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Location: south island New Zealand
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| Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:23 am Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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contrary to common belief it wasnt the french that invented the condom it was in fact the Australians...the french just worked out to take away the rest of the sheep!!!
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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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| Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 8:13 am Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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_________________
Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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TRBLSHTR
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Tremblay
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| Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:38 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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personal I do not shower with a raincoat on ....!!!!!!
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Good Vince-but I also heard that before the goat episode the english were using chickens-with the feathers(that might have been the original "french tickler")! 
