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dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:19 pm Post subject: Grammar is important |
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.Subject: Sex and good Grammar
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was
rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket
to the medicine man. The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder warned,
'This is a powerful medicine.
You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.'
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and
then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said,
"1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Now who would have guessed that grammar was so important!
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8314 Location: Fort Worth TX
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 10:39 pm Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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LOL, were you an "Queen's" English teacher, dhc4?
_________________ "To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9239 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 11:41 pm Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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poor man....... very good.
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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Suzanne Super Member
Joined: Jun 27, 2009 Posts: 3323 Location: Eugene, Oregon
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 7:12 am Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Dangling participle......It can mean war, or just a good movie (war is more fun)
Suz
_________________ May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams. |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 7:19 am Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Must be related to Vince.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6396 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:46 pm Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Bushmaster wrote: |
Must be related to Vince. |
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15704 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 4:24 pm Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Bushmaster wrote: |
Must be related to Vince. |
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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pete4d Super Member
Joined: Nov 27, 2011 Posts: 957 Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:42 pm Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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_________________ "march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968
When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date
The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!
I'm on the watch list are you ? |
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Azar Member
Joined: Jan 04, 2010 Posts: 275 Location: Utah
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:03 pm Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Puntuation is important. A couple of examples:
Wrong: Let's eat Grandma!
Right: Let's eat, Grandma!
Proper punctuation and grammar can save lives!
Wrong: Do you know what I like about you? Your nuts.
Right: Do you know what I like about you? You're nuts.
Proper punctuation and grammar can save you from embarrasing situations!
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9239 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 2:17 pm Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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and your dog will teach you that "tone" is more important than both!!!!
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 6:06 pm Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Depends...
Azar...How old is grandma?
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Aloysius Super Member
Joined: Nov 03, 2009 Posts: 2438 Location: B., Belgium
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 12:45 am Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Bushy, you still have your own teeth or are they already imported? Is your jackhandle older or younger than your teeth?
on the other hand: one of the things I do like about goulash is...
or a marinade with somekind of acetic acid...
it started with "grammar is important"
and we end up with an "imported grandma"...
must be a lot of "nuts" arround here.
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:29 am Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Still have most of my own teeth and I'm older the my jackhandle by six years.
Next?
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Tremblay Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 Posts: 2645 Location: Malta, Montana
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:44 am Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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Aloysius wrote: |
Bushy, you still have your own teeth or are they already imported? Is your jackhandle older or younger than your teeth?
on the other hand: one of the things I do like about goulash is...
or a marinade with somekind of acetic acid...
it started with "grammar is important"
and we end up with an "imported grandma"...
must be a lot of "nuts" arround here. |
Yup one big tree full.......
_________________ Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:50 am Post subject: Re: Grammar is important |
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_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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