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coffin
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7579
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 2:34 am    Post subject: coffin Reply with quote

A man is walking home in the dark one Halloween evening when he hears a noise behind him

BUMP...



BUMP...



BUMP...




Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.



BUMP...




BUMP...




BUMP...




Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.




FASTER...



FASTER...




BUMP...




BUMP...




BUMP....



He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.


clappity-BUMP...



clappity-BUMP..


clappity-BUMP...


on his heels, as the terrified man runs.



Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.








Bumping and clapping toward him.





The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...


and,
















(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)










the coffin stops

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10585
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 7:59 am    Post subject: Re: coffin Reply with quote

Oh-oh...Sorry Vince. But.......

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Pumpkinslinger
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4500
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 2:33 pm    Post subject: Re: coffin Reply with quote

I have no words...

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anyone else, and there ain't no one better than me!" Ma Kettle

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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5879
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 3:05 pm    Post subject: Re: coffin Reply with quote

Contending..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2367
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 5:34 pm    Post subject: Re: coffin Reply with quote

Gee loosing the rugby 7's is having a larger effect than I thought it would.
Relax Elvis the guys with the rubber room will be by shortly........

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Elvis
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7579
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 7:20 pm    Post subject: Re: coffin Reply with quote

the 7s are history..as for the rowing...well the teams are going great.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13659
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 11:05 pm    Post subject: Re: coffin Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:
Contending..

WOW Elvis...a very strong contender with that one mate.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2367
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 11:36 pm    Post subject: Re: coffin Reply with quote

I don't know what Dallan thought he was going to get when he started this forum.
I'm inclined to bet it wasn't this.......

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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