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New Element Discovered
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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SwampFox
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Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 8:06 am    Post subject: New Element Discovered Reply with quote

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, thus forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium...an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 9:09 am    Post subject: Re: New Element Discovered Reply with quote

A good analogy of our government. It fits...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 11:27 am    Post subject: Re: New Element Discovered Reply with quote

It's characteristic of all goverment , isn't it ....... ?

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 2:28 pm    Post subject: Re: New Element Discovered Reply with quote

Quote::
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Sorry to nit pick but if it didn't have electrons it wouldnt be inert but REALLY reactive to anything it gets near. Guess it would be like putting lithum in a bucket of water but worse. Shocked

BTW DONT TRY THE LITIHUM AND WATER THING! Shocked

Dimitri

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Crackshot
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Joined: Oct 23, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:50 pm    Post subject: Re: New Element Discovered Reply with quote

It was a JOKE Dimitri! Smile

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:17 pm    Post subject: Re: New Element Discovered Reply with quote

I know Crackshot. It was funny. Just thought I should mention that. Laughing

Dimitri

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