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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15715 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:14 am Post subject: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN |
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DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
out.
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration,
and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation
level as nagging him.
Cheers, Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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rdncktink Super Member
Joined: Mar 02, 2007 Posts: 476 Location: Hwaseong, South Korea
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 7:30 am Post subject: Re: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN |
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_________________ Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another. |
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 7:54 am Post subject: Re: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN |
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Vince wrote: |
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. |
Perhaps it causes that with some women, but I do believe Tink like me likes country music. And I believe atleast for the 2 of us we prove there is a pretty big "Exception" to that rule. As a matter of fact I'm listening to country music as I type this.
Vince wrote: |
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. |
Where to buy that ?? Will need to self prescribe it to any girl I date, will stop some of the problems. I got a tough enough time remembering my birthday (not so much the date but when it comes around I generally forget its that day till someone reminds me :-D) never mind somebody else's.
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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keetoowah Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2007 Posts: 691 Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:41 am Post subject: Re: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN |
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laughing hard.
love the first one and jackasspirin. need full perscriptions
I bet you and Tink think there are only 2 kinds of music Dimitri, country and western huh?? lol
Vince dont know where you find them but keep them coming.
_________________ If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? |
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:03 am Post subject: Re: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN |
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I know there are more types of music out there.
My family cannot agree with music, we all listen to something different.
Plus most functions I get stuck going to don't have country, unless they "rename" it "Soft rock" or "Pop" as long as it doesn't have a violin and depending on how much guitar is in the song. It always fun pointing out to people who "hate" country music that that latest "pop/soft rock" song they heard at a dance or gala etc is actually country and sung by a Country singer but they decided to rename it something else.
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:07 am Post subject: Re: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN |
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If I may quote the songwriter:
"I like Bobby Dylan and I like Johnny Cash
And I think Waylon Jennings is a table thumping smash
and little Joni Mitchell boys she's better than smokin' grass
But if you don't like Hank Williams baby, you can kiss my ass"
Kris Kristofferson "If you don't like Hank Williams"
_________________ "If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!" |
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keetoowah Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2007 Posts: 691 Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:33 am Post subject: Re: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN |
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country is ok.
i dont listen to much of it but the artists I do are of course from my home state. Garth, Reba, Toby....
My uncle was in the music biz for 36 years mostly his own and songs from his era like Frank Sinatra, and much more that I wont bothering boring ya'll with. My other uncle, uncle Charlie made it very well though. I am sure ya'll have hear Devil Went Down to Georgia and all his other hits.
I just really prefer the Native American venues, the artists of the last generation and the new ones are awesome with their compositions and the way they blend traditional and contemporary. I actually like Native American and Native Hawaiian rap. I hate the other kind.
But nothing beats some good reggae by Mr Marley, Santana, Los Lonely Boys, Edgar Winters, and the list goes.
Oh did I forget to type RUSH??
regards
_________________ If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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