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The Marine and the Reporters
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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codybrown
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Joined: Feb 10, 2007
Posts: 379
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:29 pm    Post subject: The Marine and the Reporters Reply with quote

The Marine & The Reporters



Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S.
Marine Sergeant escort were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The
leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one
last request before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan so I'd like one last bowl full
of hot spicy chili."

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the
chili.

Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song "O
Canada" one last time."

The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world
and knew the music.

He returned with some rag-tag Musicians and played the anthem.

Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out
my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to
happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on
the job till the end."

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and
Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die
happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your
final wish?"

"Kick me in the rear," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the rear," insisted
the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him
in the posterior.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled his 9mm
M9 pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead.

In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his
M4 carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all the
enemies were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked
him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you
ask them to kick you in the posterior first?"

"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three ***holes report that
I was the aggressor!?

If you can't stand behind our troops,
try standing in front of them!

_________________
I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly larger.
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13523
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:54 am    Post subject: Re: The Marine and the Reporters Reply with quote

Good one Cody. Laughing Laughing ROFL

I agree wholeheartedly with the attiudes of the Marine SGT. The media should not be allowed to be even remotely near a war zone let alone embedded in a military unit. They are a hindrance and a major security risk.

Maybe if a few more of them "didn't make it" then things would change.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 5:01 pm    Post subject: Re: The Marine and the Reporters Reply with quote

This one is a classic. Haha

Vince,

Reporters have a place in a war zone, they really do Vince, after the area has been secured, cleaned up of the dead, damaged/destroyed equipment/vehicles and other "not so nice" items, and checked by Military Inteligence and any secret service type (CIA, CSIS, ASIS, MSIS etc) for anything that maybe needed to be kept on a "need to know basis" ... then the reports can walk around for a few moments before being shuttled out of the area. Wink

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13523
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:03 pm    Post subject: Re: The Marine and the Reporters Reply with quote

You are totally right 'Mitri.....I can't agree more mate.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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sniper
Super Member
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Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 4:53 pm    Post subject: Re: The Marine and the Reporters Reply with quote

Flag Salute ROFL Pistol Shooting
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