HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: IPutMoInYoA
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13131

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 557
BOT: 1
Total: 558
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: News
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Your Account
05: Your Account
06: Photo Albums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Photo Albums
10: Forums
11: Home
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Home
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Your Account
25: Your Account
26: Forums
27: Home
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Home
33: Home
34: Your Account
35: Your Account
36: Photo Albums
37: Photo Albums
38: Home
39: Photo Albums
40: News
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Your Account
44: Forums
45: Home
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Home
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Your Account
53: Forums
54: Home
55: Your Account
56: Forums
57: Photo Albums
58: Forums
59: Home
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Home
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Your Account
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Home
72: Forums
73: Your Account
74: Home
75: Your Account
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Your Account
79: Your Account
80: Your Account
81: Your Account
82: Photo Albums
83: Photo Albums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Home
87: Your Account
88: Photo Albums
89: Your Account
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Home
93: Forums
94: Forums
95: Your Account
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Home
99: Your Account
100: Your Account
101: Your Account
102: Forums
103: Your Account
104: Forums
105: Home
106: Your Account
107: Forums
108: Home
109: Forums
110: Photo Albums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Home
115: Your Account
116: Photo Albums
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Photo Albums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Your Account
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Home
130: Your Account
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: Forums
135: Photo Albums
136: Your Account
137: Forums
138: Forums
139: Forums
140: Forums
141: Forums
142: Photo Albums
143: Forums
144: Home
145: Your Account
146: Forums
147: Forums
148: Forums
149: Forums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Forums
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Home
157: Home
158: Forums
159: Photo Albums
160: Home
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Your Account
165: Home
166: Forums
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Home
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Your Account
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Forums
177: Forums
178: Forums
179: Your Account
180: Forums
181: Forums
182: Forums
183: Statistics
184: Your Account
185: Forums
186: Forums
187: Forums
188: Your Account
189: Forums
190: Your Account
191: Your Account
192: Forums
193: Forums
194: Photo Albums
195: Forums
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Your Account
199: Forums
200: Forums
201: Photo Albums
202: Home
203: Forums
204: Forums
205: Forums
206: Home
207: Forums
208: Your Account
209: Your Account
210: Forums
211: Home
212: Your Account
213: Forums
214: Your Account
215: Home
216: Photo Albums
217: Forums
218: Forums
219: Your Account
220: Your Account
221: Forums
222: Your Account
223: Forums
224: Forums
225: Forums
226: Home
227: Forums
228: Forums
229: Forums
230: Forums
231: Statistics
232: Your Account
233: Photo Albums
234: News
235: Your Account
236: Forums
237: Forums
238: Forums
239: Your Account
240: Forums
241: Forums
242: Forums
243: Your Account
244: Forums
245: Photo Albums
246: Forums
247: Forums
248: Your Account
249: Forums
250: Forums
251: Forums
252: Forums
253: Forums
254: Your Account
255: Home
256: Home
257: Forums
258: Forums
259: Forums
260: Your Account
261: Forums
262: Forums
263: Forums
264: Forums
265: Forums
266: Forums
267: Forums
268: Forums
269: Photo Albums
270: Forums
271: Forums
272: Photo Albums
273: Forums
274: Forums
275: Home
276: Your Account
277: Forums
278: Photo Albums
279: Forums
280: Photo Albums
281: Forums
282: Forums
283: Forums
284: Forums
285: Home
286: Forums
287: Forums
288: Forums
289: Forums
290: Forums
291: Forums
292: Your Account
293: Forums
294: Forums
295: Home
296: Forums
297: Photo Albums
298: Home
299: Forums
300: Forums
301: Forums
302: Forums
303: Forums
304: Home
305: Photo Albums
306: Your Account
307: Home
308: Photo Albums
309: Forums
310: Forums
311: Forums
312: Forums
313: Forums
314: Your Account
315: Forums
316: Forums
317: Forums
318: Your Account
319: Forums
320: Forums
321: Home
322: Forums
323: Forums
324: Forums
325: Forums
326: Your Account
327: Forums
328: Forums
329: Forums
330: Forums
331: Your Account
332: Your Account
333: Forums
334: Forums
335: Forums
336: Your Account
337: Forums
338: Your Account
339: News
340: Forums
341: Forums
342: Home
343: Your Account
344: Forums
345: Forums
346: Forums
347: Forums
348: Forums
349: Home
350: Forums
351: Home
352: Home
353: Forums
354: Forums
355: Forums
356: Forums
357: Forums
358: Photo Albums
359: Forums
360: Forums
361: Forums
362: Your Account
363: Forums
364: Forums
365: Photo Albums
366: Your Account
367: Photo Albums
368: Your Account
369: Photo Albums
370: Forums
371: Your Account
372: Forums
373: Forums
374: Forums
375: Your Account
376: Forums
377: Photo Albums
378: Forums
379: Your Account
380: Your Account
381: Photo Albums
382: Photo Albums
383: Home
384: Forums
385: Photo Albums
386: Forums
387: Forums
388: Forums
389: Photo Albums
390: Forums
391: Forums
392: Forums
393: Forums
394: Forums
395: Your Account
396: Forums
397: Home
398: Forums
399: Your Account
400: Forums
401: Forums
402: News
403: Your Account
404: Forums
405: Forums
406: Forums
407: Forums
408: Forums
409: Forums
410: Forums
411: Forums
412: Forums
413: Your Account
414: Forums
415: Forums
416: Forums
417: Forums
418: Forums
419: Your Account
420: Forums
421: Forums
422: Forums
423: Forums
424: Your Account
425: Forums
426: Forums
427: Forums
428: Your Account
429: Forums
430: Forums
431: Forums
432: Forums
433: Forums
434: Forums
435: Forums
436: Your Account
437: Forums
438: Forums
439: Forums
440: Forums
441: Forums
442: Home
443: Forums
444: Your Account
445: Forums
446: Forums
447: Home
448: Forums
449: News
450: Forums
451: Your Account
452: Forums
453: Home
454: Forums
455: Forums
456: Forums
457: Forums
458: Home
459: Forums
460: Forums
461: Forums
462: Forums
463: Forums
464: Your Account
465: Forums
466: Forums
467: Your Account
468: Forums
469: Forums
470: Forums
471: Forums
472: Your Account
473: Forums
474: Home
475: Home
476: Forums
477: Forums
478: Forums
479: Your Account
480: Forums
481: Photo Albums
482: Forums
483: Forums
484: Forums
485: Home
486: Home
487: Forums
488: Forums
489: Forums
490: Photo Albums
491: Forums
492: Forums
493: Forums
494: Home
495: Forums
496: Home
497: Photo Albums
498: Home
499: Home
500: Photo Albums
501: Statistics
502: Home
503: Your Account
504: Forums
505: Forums
506: Forums
507: Forums
508: Forums
509: Photo Albums
510: Forums
511: Forums
512: Forums
513: Forums
514: Forums
515: Forums
516: Your Account
517: Forums
518: Your Account
519: Forums
520: Home
521: Your Account
522: Forums
523: Forums
524: Forums
525: Forums
526: Forums
527: Forums
528: Forums
529: Your Account
530: Forums
531: Forums
532: Forums
533: Your Account
534: Forums
535: Forums
536: Forums
537: Forums
538: Forums
539: Forums
540: Photo Albums
541: Forums
542: Forums
543: Forums
544: Forums
545: Home
546: Forums
547: Forums
548: Forums
549: Home
550: Your Account
551: Home
552: Forums
553: Home
554: Forums
555: Home
556: Your Account
557: Home
  BOT:
01: Your Account

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824587
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Welfare Joke
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Go to page 1, 2  Next
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
mikeleduc
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 23, 2008
Posts: 69
Location: Phoenix, AZ since 1972

PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 6:28 pm    Post subject: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive. A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc., located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it."
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 2650
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Very Happy A lot of truth in it. ROFL

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Funny, but as Tremblay said, "A lot of truth in it."

Cary

_________________
Rancher/Environmental Scientist
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Its not a joke when your the guy that did that. Sad

ROFL

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

I guess it's funny to me because I've never been on welfare, or without a job for that matter. I guess I'm lucky.

Cary

_________________
Rancher/Environmental Scientist
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

I'm kidding, still on my first and only full time job. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

I'm without a job...Haven't worked in 1 1/2 years...First time I've been out of work in 50 years...Wonder if I can draw wel-fare...??

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Bushy,

You don't look like a prime canditate for welfare. You'd have better luck filing for unemployment.

In the business world, employers cringe when the unemployment rate goes below 5 %. It's lower than that now (in Texas anyway). This makes it an employee market. Lots of jobs, not enough workers. What kind of job are you looking for Bushy?

Cary

_________________
Rancher/Environmental Scientist
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:35 am    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

ROFL Cary...I'm retired... Party Every morning is
Saturday Morning... ROFL

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
SwampFox
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Yeh, yeh, yeh......

My dad asks me what day it is, every once in a while, just so I do not forget that he is unh unemployed..... Now I just say: Nope, it ain't Christmas or Saturday or Sunday so you can't take off..... Very Happy He also asks if I mailed in my IRS check......this quarter, just to make sure he gets his checks you understand...... nothing like rubbing it in. Very Happy He retired in 71.

Ed

_________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Heck, Bushy, you don't look old enough to retire. You must be independently wealthy!!!!!

Cary

_________________
Rancher/Environmental Scientist
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Cary,

Don't let him fool you, he is older then he looks. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Oh...Thanks, Big D...I appreciate you too... Very Happy

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Bushy,

Its a compliment, .... yah thats right .... a compliment that you still look young. ROFL

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Bushy,

You're supposed to tell him that you think you look pretty darn good for 106 years old!

Cary

_________________
Rancher/Environmental Scientist
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 2
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Go to page 1, 2  Next



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.