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This will Mess With Your Head
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13829
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2008 9:00 pm    Post subject: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

Three men go into a Motel. The man behind the desk said the room is $30, so so each man paid $10 and went to the room.

A while later the man realised the room is only $25, so he sent the bellboy to the room with $5.

On the way, the bellboy couldn't work out how to split the $5 evenly between three men, so he gave each man a $1 and kept $2 for himself.

this meant that each man paid $9 for the room, which is a total of $27, add the $2 that the bellboy kept = $29.

WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR? wtf Confused Confused Confused Confused Confused Confused

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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Pumpkinslinger
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:33 am    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

I'm never letting you count my change...

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"I ain't no better than anyone else, and there ain't no one better than me!" Ma Kettle

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shrpshtrjoe
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2955
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 4:19 am    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

Thats makin my head hurt Vince wtf
Joe

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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:35 am    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

I think the Bellboy is a shyster.

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jeh7mmmag
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Joined: Dec 24, 2006
Posts: 222
Location: DFW, TX.

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:48 am    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

I am looking but I have not found it yet!!!!!! Evil or Very Mad

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WileyWapiti
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Location: NW Colorado

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 7:02 am    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

$30 In the pot, -1 = 29, -1 = 28, -1 = 27, -2 = 25. It is all in the presentation - Vince, have you ever thought of running for US politics?

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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:05 am    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

I think the rest of us were going at this bass ackward.

Cary

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:40 am    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

I have the extra dollar...So there...!!

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 11:59 am    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

I was wondering where that dollar went. Never trust a Black Shoe, I always say! Just joking Bushy, you can pat them feathers back down!

I better watch it or I'll get bombarded by Airdale jokes. I'm out numbered at least 10 to 1 by Black Shoes in this forum.

Cary

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 12:12 pm    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

There's a few "ground pounders"here too.

And you are very correct in what you say about "black shoe snipes". If it isn't nailed down, behind locked door or guarded and we need it...It's gone...

I know of two stories...One where my 3,000 psi torpedo launch compressor went tits up and I found a brand new one (belonging to the Air Force) on the pier in a crate...They are probably still looking for that compressor...

Aboard the Proteus (AS-19) in Guam our scuttle butt (chilled water dispensor) in the engine room quit. I kinda borrowed the new one that had just been installed on the Electricians flat. Took the Marines 7 days to find it...Boy did the SHTF, but we got to keep it in the engine room and they ordered a new one for the electricians...Boy were the "sparkies" PO'ed...

Just a few of the fun times aboard naval ships and trying to get the job done...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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OntheLasGallinas
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Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:54 pm    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

When I was in Vietnam, I was on call one night for patrol duty, outside the compound. I was hoping to sleep all night (or at least get some sleep between the incoming rockets), but I got rousted out of my bunk by our Lieutenant Commander (second in charge) and a Navy Chief that I had never seen before, about midnight. He told me to get my gear that we had a mission to do. I grabbed my pants, shirt, shoes, and the rest of my combat gear and jumped into the back of the waiting jeep. We drove out of our compound and down the road for several miles and came up on the Air Force Base outside of DaNang. We drove in one of the back gates and drove up to the rear door of the Air Force Base Club. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I was ordered to kick the door down. So, I kicked the door in. It dawned on me, about that time, that we didn’t have permission to be there. As we entered the room, it was evident that this was a storage room. The Lieutenant ordered me and another sailor (who was also on call) to load a 6 foot long beer cooler on the back of the jeep. Apparently the Navy Club had a broken cooler and these two drunk sailors decided that they were going to acquire one from the Air Force. Well, we couldn’t lift the damn thing, it was full of beer, and so I started to unload it about the time the Air Force club manager burst through the door with a pistol and fired two shots into the ceiling. Hell, I stopped unloading the beer and got down on the floor, behind the cooler. He walked up to the Navy Chief and the Lieutenant and told him to order a stand down. The chief wrestled with him a little, took his pistol away from him and knocked him out with one punch and we went back to unloading the cooler. In about 2 minutes we were getting ready to load it on the jeep when the Air Force police showed up with 2 German Sheppard dogs and I went into a different mode of survival. I was looking for anything to climb on to get those dogs off of me. Needless to say, the dogs won.

The Air Force Police put me and the other on-duty sailor in a conex box that they were using for a jail, and carted off the Navy Chief and the Lieutenant. I told them that I was just following orders; after they asked me what the hell this was all about. About an hour later they came back, told me that everything was settled, loaded me and the other on-call sailor in a jeep and transported us back to the Navy/Marine base. I never saw the Chief or the Lieutenant again. I was called before the Commander the next day. I thought I was going to get a butt chewing. He apologized to me for the whole episode and told me that he would never allow one of his officers to do something like that again under his watch.

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 4:57 pm    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

Bushy,

I think when it went on the dock it was lost already, they probably never realized it went missing. Laughing

That story about the beer is kinda neat I must admit. So "just fallowing orders" is a valid reason to do something. TV makes it seem like it isn't. Just goes to show how wrong TV can be. Laughing

Dimitri

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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 8:00 pm    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

War is never totally like the movies. Some of the most current war movies are fairly close to reality. They're getting better at it. A TV show called China Beach was the biggest fake I've ever seen. I was there a couple of times and I never saw any of those pretty nurses.

The only women I saw answered to Mamason and talked through black beatle-nut teeth. Beu-T-ful! Oh, yes, and stomped my clothes clean in a trash can with soap and rice starch that caused me to smell like sour mash the first time I broke into a sweat.

Cary

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Last edited by OntheLasGallinas on Thu May 15, 2008 8:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10625
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 8:03 pm    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

Yup...Most of them would look better in a halter and lead rope...Kinky...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:13 pm    Post subject: Re: This will Mess With Your Head Reply with quote

WileyWapiti wrote:
$30 In the pot, -1 = 29, -1 = 28, -1 = 27, -2 = 25. It is all in the presentation - Vince, have you ever thought of running for US politics?

You reckon I would do ok in politics Wiley?

Now...
$10 + $10 + $10 = $30
$30-$5 = $25
$5 - $2 -$1 - $1 - $1 = $0
$1 to each guy = $3 + $2 to the bellhop = $5
$10 - $1 = $9 x 3 = $27 + $2 (to the bellhop) = $29

The math looks good to me Wiley. Confused Confused Confused

Back to the drawing board mate.

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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