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Err.. yeah!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5894
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 2:59 am    Post subject: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

-------------------------------------------------------

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in the Army, I'll bet you couldn't pour p!ss out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel.

You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a trial lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you.

You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.

May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you.

You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool.

You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.

After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything.

Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

Love
Mom and Dad

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and generally Not Good.

Begone and never pollute our ether with your presence again!

----------------------------------------------------------

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7622
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:07 am    Post subject: Re: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

ok???
I thought that this may be adressed to a spambot but reading to the end Im not so sure? are you fishing for a squiggly line coment from Suz perhaps??

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:20 am    Post subject: Re: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

Shocked

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Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13708
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:37 am    Post subject: Re: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

Now don't you hold back Gelan...say what you mean mate. Very Happy Very Happy Laughing Laughing

Although I must admit...what you have said was said well mate.

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:37 am    Post subject: Re: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

Reminds me of John Cleese, I can see him doin the Nazi high stepping in circles spewing a rant like that. What fun!

Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10609
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:26 am    Post subject: Re: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

What??? Gelandangan...That must be a real good drug you are on...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1108
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 12:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

Do you think you posted this to the wrong site perchance?

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5894
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

radar wrote:
Do you think you posted this to the wrong site perchance?

Nah mate, just something to say to those brainless anti gun nincompoops .. Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Err.. yeah! Reply with quote

Shocked Shocked Shocked Oh is that it ... did you say everything that was on your mind ...? you didn't forget anything did ya ...??? I mean ... I think you have their attention Confused Confused


Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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