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Entertainment night
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri May 31, 2013 11:23 pm    Post subject: Entertainment night Reply with quote

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center.
After the community sing led by Douglas and his guitar.
It was time for the Star of the Show-Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a
trance.

"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.
The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from
his waistcoat pocket A beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the
watch high for all to see.

"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for
six generations" said Claude.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting
"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch"

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.
The lights twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.
A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently
swaying watch.

And then,
Suddenly,
The chain broke!!!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact"

Surprised

Confused "SH1T" said Claude.

wtf Shocked wtf Shocked Shocked

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center. Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Evil or Very Mad

Claude was never invited to entertain again! Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6396
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:26 am    Post subject: Re: Entertainment night Reply with quote

Laughing

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9239
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:45 am    Post subject: Re: Entertainment night Reply with quote

oh you are a Embarassed sad Embarassed sad man...
but I like that in a buddy Very Happy Very Happy
Keep em coming you sure know how to brighten a fellas day Very Happy

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11389
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:20 am    Post subject: Re: Entertainment night Reply with quote

That guy must have hypmotized my horses too.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6396
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 4:51 pm    Post subject: Re: Entertainment night Reply with quote

ah Bushy speaks in euphemism ..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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