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mikeleduc Member
Joined: Jan 23, 2008 Posts: 69 Location: Phoenix, AZ since 1972
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 6:28 pm Post subject: Welfare Joke |
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A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive. A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc., located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it."
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Tremblay Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 Posts: 2645 Location: Malta, Montana
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OntheLasGallinas Super Member
Joined: Aug 23, 2007 Posts: 1042 Location: South Texas
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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Funny, but as Tremblay said, "A lot of truth in it."
Cary
_________________ Rancher/Environmental Scientist |
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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OntheLasGallinas Super Member
Joined: Aug 23, 2007 Posts: 1042 Location: South Texas
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:37 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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I guess it's funny to me because I've never been on welfare, or without a job for that matter. I guess I'm lucky.
Cary
_________________ Rancher/Environmental Scientist |
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:38 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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I'm kidding, still on my first and only full time job.
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:00 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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I'm without a job...Haven't worked in 1 1/2 years...First time I've been out of work in 50 years...Wonder if I can draw wel-fare...??
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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OntheLasGallinas Super Member
Joined: Aug 23, 2007 Posts: 1042 Location: South Texas
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:28 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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Bushy,
You don't look like a prime canditate for welfare. You'd have better luck filing for unemployment.
In the business world, employers cringe when the unemployment rate goes below 5 %. It's lower than that now (in Texas anyway). This makes it an employee market. Lots of jobs, not enough workers. What kind of job are you looking for Bushy?
Cary
_________________ Rancher/Environmental Scientist |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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SwampFox Super Member
Joined: Jul 15, 2005 Posts: 1040 Location: Destin, Florida
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:06 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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Yeh, yeh, yeh......
My dad asks me what day it is, every once in a while, just so I do not forget that he is unh unemployed..... Now I just say: Nope, it ain't Christmas or Saturday or Sunday so you can't take off..... He also asks if I mailed in my IRS check......this quarter, just to make sure he gets his checks you understand...... nothing like rubbing it in. He retired in 71.
Ed
_________________ The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill |
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OntheLasGallinas Super Member
Joined: Aug 23, 2007 Posts: 1042 Location: South Texas
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:04 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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Heck, Bushy, you don't look old enough to retire. You must be independently wealthy!!!!!
Cary
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:22 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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Cary,
Don't let him fool you, he is older then he looks.
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:37 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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Bushy,
Its a compliment, .... yah thats right .... a compliment that you still look young.
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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OntheLasGallinas Super Member
Joined: Aug 23, 2007 Posts: 1042 Location: South Texas
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:04 pm Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke |
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Bushy,
You're supposed to tell him that you think you look pretty darn good for 106 years old!
Cary
_________________ Rancher/Environmental Scientist |
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