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Welfare Joke
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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mikeleduc
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Joined: Jan 23, 2008
Posts: 69
Location: Phoenix, AZ since 1972

PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 6:28 pm    Post subject: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive. A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc., located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it."
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Very Happy A lot of truth in it. ROFL

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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Funny, but as Tremblay said, "A lot of truth in it."

Cary

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Its not a joke when your the guy that did that. Sad

ROFL

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

I guess it's funny to me because I've never been on welfare, or without a job for that matter. I guess I'm lucky.

Cary

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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

I'm kidding, still on my first and only full time job. Laughing

Dimitri

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

I'm without a job...Haven't worked in 1 1/2 years...First time I've been out of work in 50 years...Wonder if I can draw wel-fare...??

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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Bushy,

You don't look like a prime canditate for welfare. You'd have better luck filing for unemployment.

In the business world, employers cringe when the unemployment rate goes below 5 %. It's lower than that now (in Texas anyway). This makes it an employee market. Lots of jobs, not enough workers. What kind of job are you looking for Bushy?

Cary

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:35 am    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

ROFL Cary...I'm retired... Party Every morning is
Saturday Morning... ROFL

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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SwampFox
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Yeh, yeh, yeh......

My dad asks me what day it is, every once in a while, just so I do not forget that he is unh unemployed..... Now I just say: Nope, it ain't Christmas or Saturday or Sunday so you can't take off..... Very Happy He also asks if I mailed in my IRS check......this quarter, just to make sure he gets his checks you understand...... nothing like rubbing it in. Very Happy He retired in 71.

Ed

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The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Heck, Bushy, you don't look old enough to retire. You must be independently wealthy!!!!!

Cary

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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Cary,

Don't let him fool you, he is older then he looks. Laughing

Dimitri

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Oh...Thanks, Big D...I appreciate you too... Very Happy

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Bushy,

Its a compliment, .... yah thats right .... a compliment that you still look young. ROFL

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Welfare Joke Reply with quote

Bushy,

You're supposed to tell him that you think you look pretty darn good for 106 years old!

Cary

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