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The Explanation of Life
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:37 pm    Post subject: The Explanation of Life Reply with quote

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2965
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 4:40 am    Post subject: Re: The Explanation of Life Reply with quote

Thats pretty accurate Vince Laughing
Joe

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"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 6:22 am    Post subject: Re: The Explanation of Life Reply with quote

Yep...totally correct Joe. When I read the last para I thought...damn, this is my life. Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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tracker
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:12 pm    Post subject: Re: The Explanation of Life Reply with quote

It all makes sense now Very Happy

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"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
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