Why Jeeps Are Better Than Women



You can drive your Jeep any time of the month

Jeeps don't have parents

Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong

You can share your Jeep with your friends


Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden

When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time


Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you have


Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps


Jeeps don't care if you buy Jeep magazines


You'll never hear, "Surprise! You're going to own a new Jeep!" . . . unless you go out and get it yourself.
If your Jeep goes flat, you can fix it. If your Jeep is too loose, you can tighten it


You can have a Jeep of color and still bring it home to your parents


You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Jeep


If you say bad things to your Jeep, you don't have to apologize before you drive it again

You can drive your Jeep as long as you want and it won't get sore


You can stop driving your Jeep as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated


Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Jeep after you dump it


Jeeps don't get headaches


Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver


Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps


Jeeps don't care if you're late


You don't have to take a shower before you ride your Jeep


If your Jeep doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts


You can drive your Jeep the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother

The only protection you have to wear when driving your Jeep is a seat belt


When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great drive you had the last time you were in your Jeep


Your Jeep is never embarrassed to go topless in public


You only have to feed your Jeep when you use it


A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun

You never have to worry about your Jeep spending your money


You Know You Have A Real Jeep (Are A Real Jeeper) If . . .

1.

You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside
2.

You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep
3.

You determine that the best route from Point A to Point B is through a rock pile or over a mountain
4.

You call a scratch or a dent, a beauty mark
5.

You roll it over and don't get upset
6.

Your Mom or your sister can't get in without help
7.

You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb
8.

You feel nauseous when you see a RAV-4 or a Chevy Tracker
9.

You get custom pin-striping from trail brush
10.

A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you want to get out and slap the driver
11.

It takes more than 6 hours to get donuts
12.

You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days
13.

You take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail; I don't see a trail!"
14.

You've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker
15.

You can see OVER a Suburban
16.

You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up
17.

Your Nerf bars battle rocks and win
18.

It rains and you don't care that your top and doors are off
19.

You drive around to look at Christmas lights . . . topless
20.

You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break
21.

Your "Parts Department" is on blocks behind your house
22.

You take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again
23.

You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield
24.

You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents
25.

Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints
26.

Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling
27.

You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other
28.

Winter comes and your can't remember where you left your top
29.

You spend more on car washes than on insurance
30.

Even worse, the car wash won't let you in
31.

You fix almost everything yourself
32.

You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser
33.

You have the phone numbers for all of your favorite mail-order accessory houses memorized
34.

You have all your credit card numbers memorized
35.

You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground
36.

You get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm . . . and get paid for it
37.

Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it
38.

You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway
39.

You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at your local Jeep dealership
40.

You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily
41.

You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway
42.

You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep
43.

After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?", the next question is always: "And you do this for fun, right?"
44.

Your criteria for selecting a "significant other" includes auto repair skills--air tools optional
45.

You plan your wedding around the Club's trail ride schedule
46.

You save broken Jeep parts as "momentos"
47.

You know the exact story behind every one (see above)
48.

When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Jeep Owner's Bible"
49.

You keep trying to convince your significant other to allow you to remove the doors on the family minivan
50.

Your Jeep no longer fits in the garage
51.

You always have your drinks "on the rocks"
52.

You think that any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel
53.

You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps
54.

You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud
55.

You know your ring gear size, but not your wedding ring size
56.

All of your shirts have some sort of grease or oil stains, or battery acid holes, from not planning on working on your (or a friend's) Jeep
57.

You have a dirt berm at the end of your driveway from the mud that got washed off of your Jeep
58.

You think that an "airline" is something that connects your differential to your air compressor
59.

You stop trying to get the dirt out from under your fingernails
60.

You buy parts for your Jeep instead of food for your family
61.

You spend Super Bowl Sunday turning wrenches rather than watching the game
62.

Your e-mail address refers to your Jeep rather than you
63.

Your garage holds more Jeeps than your house has bedrooms
64.

You have enough spare parts to build another Jeep
65.

You have Jeep parts in your cubicle at work
66.

You have to wash your hands before you go to the restroom
67.

You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage
68.

You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident
69.

You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep
70.

You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station
71.

You're constantly getting passed on the highway
72.

The Service Department has to let all of the air out of your front tires in order to reach the engine
73.

Your wallet is always empty

reasons to date (or marry) a chick with a Jeep

10. You won't have to share your Jeep with her
9. Weather permitting, she prefers driving topless
8. Since she is obviously not into creature comforts, she will be low maintenance
7. She can probably perform her own Jeep maintenance, so you won't have to
6. She won't get angry when you are out working on your Jeep
5. She probably has her own tools
4. She likes it rough and bumpy
3. She can take your Jeep in for warranty work, and they won't ask her a single question,
even with that 4-inch lift and those 33-inch Super Swampers
2. She will usually buy you Jeep parts for gifts, and expect the same in return

And the Number One reason to marry a woman with a Jeep:

1. Plenty of spare parts waiting to be stripped from her Jeep when she's not looking!