British humour

Vince · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:01 am Post subject: British humour

This one is for our mate in Pomgolia...English Mike.

It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters.

They are putting some Persil washing Powder in to stop the coloureds running.

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Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London .
Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.

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Following the riots in Tottenham, it's important to remind ourselves that not all black people are stereotypical thieves and arsonists.

The vast majority are drug dealers and rapists.

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Ngogo Mwambi has to travel 5 miles every day for fresh water, 7 miles
every day for food & 10 miles every day for medicine for him & his
family. This is because the daft bastard and all his mates torched the
Peckham Spar, Tottenham KFC and Hackney Medical Centre and now he has to walk to Croydon for his breakfast.

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Riots in Wythenshawe last month caused over £1 million worth of improvements.

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Muslims have gone on the rampage in Bradford , killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 5.

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Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.
I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby.

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They've had to cancel the panto 'Jack & the Beanstalk' in Birmingham , Bristol , Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester, Luton and London :
Apparently the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.

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Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!

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Cheers, Vince

Elvis · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:55 am Post subject: Re: British humour

oh I say they are jolly good ol chap golly spiffing what what.

Ghost · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 6:37 am Post subject: Re: British humour

Don't runover a moslim on a bike with your car. It can be Your bike!

Laughing

stovepipe · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 11:25 am Post subject: Re: British humour

OK I made it as far as the RamaDam before BARFING !!!! Laughing

Pomgolia....buwahahahaha Laughing

TRBLSHTR · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 11:50 am Post subject: Re: British humour

Brits must be having a spot of trouble with the camel humpers-eh! Razz

Never feed stray dogs-they just might follow you home and stay!

stovepipe · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 11:56 am Post subject: Re: British humour

I remeber the first time I heard the term "pom" from an Aussie mate. Used it once razzing a mate from GB...he got bent! Laughing

English Mike · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:03 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

stovepipe wrote:

I remeber the first time I heard the term "pom" from an Aussie mate. Used it once razzing a mate from GB...he got bent! Laughing

It doesn't bother me, especially as we call our Aussie cousins far worse.

Baaaaa!!! Very Happy

stovepipe · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:05 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

Rhu-rho!

Ominivision1 · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:27 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

English Mike wrote:

It doesn't bother me, especially as we call our Aussie cousins far worse.Baaaaa!!! Very Happy

Vince · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 7:58 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

English Mike wrote:

stovepipe wrote:

I remeber the first time I heard the term "pom" from an Aussie mate. Used it once razzing a mate from GB...he got bent! Laughing

It doesn't bother me, especially as we call our Aussie cousins far worse.

Baaaaa!!! Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

camel · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 3:27 am Post subject: Re: British humour

[quote="TRBLSHTR] trouble with the camel humpers-eh! Razz

I guess I better not go visit the rellos in pommyland then, either that or steel undies. Confused

Bushmaster · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 8:40 am Post subject: Re: British humour

And here starts the "sheep jokes" again...

RePete · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 8:44 am Post subject: Re: British humour

Bushmaster wrote:

And here starts the "sheep jokes" again...

And don't forget the requisite "wellies". Laughing

tikkat3 · Super Member Joined: Jul 30, 2006 Posts: 800

Or the cliff........
Who highjacked this thread? Bushy, RePete.
Get back on topic and start bashing [laughing with] the poms.
Or
I'd like to hear a bit of Oz bashing, hey Skip
Kanga or convict

English Mike · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:10 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

A Kiwi finally makes his fortune and is having his dream house built. As he talks to the architect on how he wants the house built he says, 'See that tree there, don't cut it down because under that tree I made love for the first time.'

The architect says he understands the sentimental value of the tree and he will design the house so that the tree isn't harmed.

Then the man says, 'And you see that tree over there, I don't want it cut either, because her mother stood there and watched as we made love.'

The architect could hardly believe his ears,'That's incredible, what did her mother say?'

'Baaaaaa.'