Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
*************************************************************
A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
*************************************************************
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
*************************************************************
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
*************************************************************
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
*************************************************************
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"
*************************************************************
"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
*************************************************************
An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
*************************************************************
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
*************************************************************
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
*************************************************************
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
*************************************************************
I went to a seafood disco last week...And pulled a mussel.
*************************************************************
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
*************************************************************
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
*************************************************************
And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to
his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
*************************************************************
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
*************************************************************

Cheers, Vince

Thanks Vince I really needed a chuckle.

Priceless

My favorite is "Deja Moo"! Thanks Vince!

"DAM"!!

no pun in ten did

GROOOAAANNNN !!!

Why, after reading the first couple, couldn't I stop myself from reading them all????

A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Same here Marty!! Freekin Henny Youngman goin on there..Thanx Vinnie!!

he-he-ha

I'm a happy man...I have spread chuckles galore.

What more can a man ask from life...other than a nice fat 8 x 8 buck on the last day of his hunt.

Cheers, Vince

amputated your arms.

Whats the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?
A northern girl will say 'you can' and a southern girl will say 'Y'all can'.

inthedark wrote:

Whats the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl? A northern girl will say 'you can' and a southern girl will say 'Y'all can'.

Busy ladies those southern gals....

More fun too !!!