Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.

Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.

The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .

'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:

'A pumpkin? S#%t ... is it midnight already?'

The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best come-back line ever.'

Cheers, Vince

Hope his name wasn't Charlie Brown.

eeeuwww

I shall have to tell my mum that one.

HE HE HAAAW

Wasn't expecting that one!

Yep, even crime can come out with beauts like that

A car is traveling so slowly down the highway that it attracts the attention of a State Trooper. The officer pulls the slow poke over.

“What have I done wrong, officer?” asks the driver.

“You are going 26 mph on a major highway. There is a law against that,” said the officer. “You must go at least 50 mph.”

“But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!”

“Sir, you’re driving on Interstate 26. That isn’t the speed limit!”

The officer notices a woman in the passenger seat whose face is as pale as a ghost.

“What happened to her?” he asks.

“I don’t know, but she has been that way ever since we got off of interstate 160.”

More car jokes here: The best car jokes that are SFW (Pt. 1)

hmmm I wonder?????
Im not game for a butchers!