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Help given...
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:23 pm    Post subject: Help given... Reply with quote
Finding a woman sobbing after she had locked her keys in her car,a passing soldier assures her that he can help.

She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers...rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.

Magically it opens.......

"That's so clever,” the woman gasps. "How did you do it ?"

"Easy," replies the man.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
"These are my khakis".

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
oh lord, he's at it again......

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6397
Location: Sydney Australia
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:33 am    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
Cyclops Cyclops Bang Head Smash Faint

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:18 am    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
dhc4ever wrote:
oh lord, he's at it again......

Razz Razz Razz
Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 7:38 am    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
I'm with Geland on this one


Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11391
Location: Ava, Missouri
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 9:30 am    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
It's obvious that the soldier is from Massachusetts.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2965
Location: Maryland
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
This one ranks up there with the bacon tree Vince Laughing

_________________
"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
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Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 2:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
As charlie Brown used to say, "Good Grief" Faint

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9253
Location: south island New Zealand
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
your crown is safe.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 6:58 am    Post subject: Re: Help given... Reply with quote
Ahhh...how much happier can a man get. Very Happy Very Happy Laughing Laughing Party Cheers

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
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