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Bushies retirement payout.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 2:21 am    Post subject: Bushies retirement payout. Reply with quote

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hand to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
'From the tip of my willie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,
''Where are your testicles?''


The old Chief calmly replied, ''Vietnam''.


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Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9239
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 2:43 am    Post subject: Re: Bushies retirement payout. Reply with quote

dont mess with an old grizzly man..... you will come off 2nd best.

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6396
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 3:39 am    Post subject: Re: Bushies retirement payout. Reply with quote

Bushy eh?
Plausible there. Crafty bastard.

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15704
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 3:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Bushies retirement payout. Reply with quote

Old age and cunning will win every time. The Wave

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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