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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15704 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:28 am Post subject: The South |
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Tennessee:
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
Alabama:
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
Louisiana:
A senior at LSU was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
Mississippi:
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number."
Georgia:
A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75. The trooper asked, "Got any I. D.?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
North Carolina:
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make sense to me neither."
And this from South Carolina:
"You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of anyone retiring to the North
Cheers, Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 6:49 am Post subject: Re: The South |
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What!!! No Missouri???
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15704 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6396 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:01 pm Post subject: Re: The South |
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I have no ID what ya'll talk about
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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GroovyJack Member
Joined: May 21, 2005 Posts: 621 Location: Bama
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:31 pm Post subject: Re: The South |
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Missori is a southern state by common definition, the definition being that if the state is in the "Southern" US which is South of the Manson-Dixie Line and seperated from the US before or during the "War of Northern Agression" (as its called in the Southern US), "The Southern Rebelion" (The Northern name for the war) or the "American Civil War" (The most common name) so these are the states that are "Southern".
-> South Carolina (December 20, 1860),
-> Mississippi (January 9, 1861),
-> Florida (January 10, 1861),
-> Alabama (January 11, 1861),
-> Georgia (January 19, 1861),
-> Louisiana (January 26, 1861),
-> Texas (February 1, 1861)
-> Virginia (April 17, 1861);
-> Arkansas (May 6, 1861),
-> Tennessee (May 7, 1861).
-> North Carolina (May 20, 1861)
-> Missouri (October 31, 1861).
-> Kentucky (November 20, 1861)
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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GroovyJack Member
Joined: May 21, 2005 Posts: 621 Location: Bama
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:34 pm Post subject: Re: The South |
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Meattree jus where is the MANSON DIXON line ??
It was the War Between the Americans and Yankees ..
And it's still goin on
_________________ My Goal In Life Is To Be As Good Of A Person As My Dog Already Thinks I Am |
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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GroovyJack Member
Joined: May 21, 2005 Posts: 621 Location: Bama
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:49 pm Post subject: Re: The South |
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I know all about the MASON DIXON , but you post said MANSON DIXON
_________________ My Goal In Life Is To Be As Good Of A Person As My Dog Already Thinks I Am |
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Morax Super Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2006 Posts: 618 Location: Pittsburgh Pa
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yotebuster Member
Joined: Oct 16, 2005 Posts: 216 Location: Georgia
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:29 pm Post subject: Re: The South |
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Vince, you were spot on with the last one about South Carolina. I have heard that more times that I can count. Like the woman I talked with last week that moved here from Wisconsin. Her exact words, and I quote; "I just wish I'd done this 10 years ago."
Aw hells bells,............we'll take Missouri. Even with Bushy in it. LOL
Cheers,
Yotebuster
_________________ May all your Bloodtrails be Vertical! |
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rdncktink Super Member
Joined: Mar 02, 2007 Posts: 476 Location: Hwaseong, South Korea
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rdncktink Super Member
Joined: Mar 02, 2007 Posts: 476 Location: Hwaseong, South Korea
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:31 pm Post subject: Re: The South |
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oops sorry forgot it Missouri was number 12 me bad
_________________ Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another. |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:55 pm Post subject: Re: The South |
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Who really cares...I'm an Oregon Redneck...I just live in Missouri...
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 3:37 am Post subject: Re: The South |
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GroovyJack,
Sorry for my spelling mistake.
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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