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keetoowah Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2007 Posts: 691 Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 9:02 am Post subject: for all those women funnies |
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
have a good day boys.
_________________ If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11393 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 10:34 am Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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Never met a "good chauvinist male" have you, Keetoowah..?
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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keetoowah Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2007 Posts: 691 Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 1:20 pm Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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worked for a sicilian for 3 years and another for 2 years denver.
they dont bother me.
they're jokes Mr Bush jokes get it??
_________________ If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? |
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jeh7mmmag Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2006 Posts: 223 Location: DFW, TX.
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:21 pm Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Stay the course keetoowah
James
_________________ mypva.org/
DAV
VNE USS LEX CVT-16 BLUE GHOST V2 CATS ABE-2 |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6398 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:42 pm Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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d_hoffman Super Member
Joined: Feb 13, 2007 Posts: 696 Location: Chillicothe, Ohio
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 8:14 am Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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_________________ "If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!" |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11393 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:22 am Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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Tink, keetoowah and any other girl who visits/will see this take note this is SATIRE.
Vedio Link
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:32 am Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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_________________ "If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!" |
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:39 am Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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rdncktink Super Member
Joined: Mar 02, 2007 Posts: 476 Location: Hwaseong, South Korea
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:27 am Post subject: Re: for all those women funnies |
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love those. Man I still know some of those women. Wait one's a friend and she proves why women shouldn't drive. Tried teaching her, bad, bad, bad thing.
Oh and here is why women can't be mechanics either.
_________________ Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another. |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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1895ss Super Member
Joined: Jul 21, 2005 Posts: 2612 Location: Not Here...!!
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