HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: Scrat
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 2
Overall: 12862

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 127
BOT: 2
Total: 129
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Your Account
10: Forums
11: Your Account
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Your Account
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Home
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Home
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Photo Albums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Your Account
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Your Account
56: Home
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Home
62: Forums
63: Home
64: Home
65: Your Account
66: Forums
67: Home
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Photo Albums
79: Forums
80: Home
81: Your Account
82: Photo Albums
83: Home
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Home
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Your Account
94: Home
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Your Account
108: Forums
109: Your Account
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Photo Albums
114: Home
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Photo Albums
119: Home
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Home
124: Forums
125: Home
126: Photo Albums
127: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 307
 Pictures: 2397
  · Views: 718428
  · Votes: 1313
  · Comments: 86
 

Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners:
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:52 pm    Post subject: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners:

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is
still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.



Dining Out

1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor, as the
restaurant may not have dogs.



Entertaining In Your Home

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.



Personal Hygiene

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should
be done in private using one's OWN truck keys

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails are a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.



Dating (outside the family)


1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.


2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting
to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some
will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, It is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such
as, "Ya sure don't sweat much fer a big gal."



Weddings

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a
cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.


Driving Etiquette

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest
tires always has the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 6:39 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

1895ss wrote:
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, It is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

So how young do men date girls in Saskatchewan ?? Shocked

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 6:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

As long as it takes ............... Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11016
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 6:32 am    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Hummmm...I didn't know that Saskatchewan, let alone Canada, had "hill Billys"...

You a "hill billy" 1895zz??

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 6:40 am    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Bushmaster,

Canada, has alot of hillbills and rednecks. Wink

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 8:52 am    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hummmm...I didn't know that Saskatchewan, let alone Canada, had "hill Billys"...

You a "hill billy" 1895zz??

No but I know of some people that could pass for one ........... Very Happy

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
rdncktink
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 5:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Sorry but some of these need to be revised.

Quote::
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is
still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
but my Aunt does plan on taking some stuff out of my grandma's house before calling anyone so the state won't get it all

Quote::
1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
nope you hold it by the neck so it won't heat up the beer

Quote::
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

why not the cat does

Quote::
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails are a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
if the dirt is on the female cover with nail polish. as for food helps it slide down better

Quote::
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest
tires always has the right of way.
If all tires are the same size he with the most guns or lest paint on the truck goes first.

_________________
Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
tracker
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:35 am    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hummmm...I didn't know that Saskatchewan, let alone Canada, had "hill Billys"...

You a "hill billy" 1895zz??

Now why in the world would he think that? We started to compile a similar manual here in Manitoba but the guy with the crayon moved to Saskatchewan.

_________________
"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
Back to top
View user's profile
WileyWapiti
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 04, 2006
Posts: 298
Location: NW Colorado

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:49 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Anybody have a good recipe for ice? The great aunt with our family recipe has sadly passed on. Please help!

_________________
Save the whales, collect the whole set!
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
tracker
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

"although the amber tint does make the drinks appear more festive and attractive, it is not recommended that one make ice with yellow water or snow, as it seems to leave a bitter aftertaste that guest often find objectionable"

_________________
"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11016
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 4:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

And, Tracker, you know this to be a fact...Right? I bet you try to skin deer tracks too...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
And, Tracker, you know this to be a fact...Right? I bet you try to skin deer tracks too...

Oh Bushy I can see you have missed on a very fine delicacy. Surprised "Track soup". Has a very distinctive taste all it's own. Confused Very Happy But don't eat the yellow snow around the tracks and keep it out of the soup................. !!!! Yuck Yuck ROFL ROFL ROFL

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
tracker
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:12 am    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

track soup's kinda like chinese food though you're hungry again real soon.

_________________
"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14654
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 9:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

WileyWapiti wrote:
Anybody have a good recipe for ice? The great aunt with our family recipe has sadly passed on. Please help!

wtf Mate.....We got the same problem with boiling water. I've had to put up with cold tea and coffee for years. Mad Might be why I drink cold beer. Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
keetoowah
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Tips From the Saskatchewan Book of Manners: Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
And, Tracker, you know this to be a fact...Right? I bet you try to skin deer tracks too...

he is leaving the skinning to me. Bushmaster.

he can shoot it, gut it, and
butcher it
i'll do the skinning, cooking, tanning and sewing.

reallly track soup??? thought it was rusty nail stew

_________________
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.