HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: IPutMoInYoA
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13131

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 295
BOT: 2
Total: 297
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Your Account
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Your Account
07: Photo Albums
08: Your Account
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Your Account
12: Your Account
13: Forums
14: Photo Albums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: News
22: Forums
23: Photo Albums
24: Your Account
25: Home
26: Forums
27: Your Account
28: Photo Albums
29: Forums
30: Your Account
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Photo Albums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Home
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Photo Albums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Home
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Photo Albums
52: Home
53: Photo Albums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Home
58: Forums
59: Your Account
60: Forums
61: Home
62: Photo Albums
63: Photo Albums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Your Account
68: Forums
69: Home
70: Forums
71: Home
72: Forums
73: Your Account
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Your Account
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Home
81: Your Account
82: Forums
83: Photo Albums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Your Account
89: Forums
90: Home
91: Statistics
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Forums
95: Home
96: Forums
97: Reloading Database
98: Your Account
99: Forums
100: Home
101: Forums
102: Photo Albums
103: Your Account
104: Forums
105: Home
106: Home
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Your Account
110: Forums
111: Your Account
112: Photo Albums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Home
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Home
122: Home
123: Forums
124: Forums
125: Your Account
126: Photo Albums
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Photo Albums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Photo Albums
134: Forums
135: Forums
136: Your Account
137: Photo Albums
138: Your Account
139: Your Account
140: Forums
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Photo Albums
144: Home
145: Forums
146: Photo Albums
147: Forums
148: Forums
149: Forums
150: Your Account
151: Photo Albums
152: Your Account
153: Your Account
154: Home
155: Your Account
156: Home
157: Forums
158: Forums
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Photo Albums
164: Forums
165: Your Account
166: Photo Albums
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Forums
172: Your Account
173: Photo Albums
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Your Account
177: Forums
178: Photo Albums
179: Your Account
180: Home
181: Forums
182: Home
183: Forums
184: Home
185: Your Account
186: Your Account
187: Forums
188: Forums
189: Forums
190: Forums
191: Forums
192: Forums
193: Home
194: Forums
195: Your Account
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Forums
199: Photo Albums
200: Forums
201: Forums
202: Photo Albums
203: Your Account
204: Your Account
205: News
206: Forums
207: Forums
208: Forums
209: Forums
210: Forums
211: Forums
212: Forums
213: Your Account
214: Forums
215: Forums
216: Your Account
217: Forums
218: Your Account
219: Home
220: Forums
221: Forums
222: Forums
223: Forums
224: Home
225: Forums
226: Home
227: Forums
228: Home
229: Forums
230: Forums
231: Forums
232: Home
233: Forums
234: Your Account
235: Forums
236: Your Account
237: Home
238: Forums
239: Your Account
240: Home
241: Your Account
242: Your Account
243: Forums
244: Forums
245: Forums
246: Forums
247: Photo Albums
248: Forums
249: Forums
250: Home
251: Forums
252: Forums
253: Your Account
254: Your Account
255: Forums
256: Forums
257: Your Account
258: Forums
259: Forums
260: Forums
261: Forums
262: Forums
263: Forums
264: Your Account
265: Forums
266: Forums
267: Forums
268: Home
269: Forums
270: Forums
271: Forums
272: Forums
273: Forums
274: Forums
275: Photo Albums
276: Forums
277: Home
278: Forums
279: Forums
280: Forums
281: Forums
282: Forums
283: Forums
284: Forums
285: Photo Albums
286: Forums
287: Home
288: Forums
289: Forums
290: Your Account
291: Forums
292: Your Account
293: Forums
294: Home
295: Home
  BOT:
01: Home
02: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824587
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Newlyweds
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
wy111
Member
Member


Joined: Jun 02, 2005
Posts: 114
Location: N. Yorkshire, U.K. ( Pomgolia)

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:20 am    Post subject: Newlyweds Reply with quote

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc..

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, D**khead? Drink your ******* beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your mother******* snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't ******* going anywhere! Got it, A**hole?"

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

_________________
Dave
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:52 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

wy111...Just who's side you on anyway...Oh-oh...Gotta go... Wife just got home...

ROFL

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
SwampFox
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

And he said the two magic words: "YES DEAR" and they lived happily ever after.
Haha

_________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6398
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Daymn!!

That story sounds familiar.. Very Happy Very Happy :-D

Somehow us men dont know what freedom is until we got married. By then its too late.. err.. is that you honey.. Yes dear, right away dear..
Hiding

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Sure are a lot of "confessions going on here...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:13 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

So you mean I got to get married before I appreciate just how much freedom I got Gelan ?? Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2965
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
So you mean I got to get married before I appreciate just how much freedom I got Gelan ?? Laughing

Dimitri

Very Happy That or Divorced Very Happy
Joe

_________________
"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:18 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Well Joe, I hope I get it right the first time so there will be no need for divorce. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2965
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
Well Joe, I hope I get it right the first time so there will be no need for divorce. Laughing

Dimitri

I hope you do as well Dimitri.
Joe

_________________
"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:23 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Joe,

I don't know about anyone else but at the point of the wife bringing out the snacks I'd have considered myself lucky and sat down with my beer and food! Laughing

Is that wrong ?? Confused

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2965
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

No it's not wrong buddy. Bein happily married takes alot of work, from both people. If your with the right person it can be easier but it still takes alot of work.
Joe

_________________
"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Yup...A lot of work and I didn't learn a damned thing the first time...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Yah, well in a few years when I get married I'll post how the first week went. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6398
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 2:19 am    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Heh.. come December it will be my 20th wedding anniversary.
Guess I could say I got it right the first time too..
but sometimes .....
Mad Evil or Very Mad

Dimitri, I select a girl that I could sleep with.. Very Happy I meant sleep in literal way.
I guess its the right choice.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
tracker
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

I don't understand what this story's doing in "jokes and humor" Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.