HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: Waihora
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12860

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 227
BOT: 2
Total: 229
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Your Account
03: Home
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Photo Albums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Photo Albums
25: Forums
26: Photo Albums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Home
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Your Account
43: Home
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Photo Albums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Home
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Your Account
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Home
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Your Account
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Your Account
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Home
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Home
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Home
94: Your Account
95: Forums
96: Home
97: Forums
98: Home
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Your Account
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Home
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Home
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Home
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Home
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Forums
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Your Account
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: Photo Albums
135: Forums
136: Forums
137: Photo Albums
138: Forums
139: Forums
140: Forums
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Forums
145: Forums
146: Forums
147: Forums
148: Forums
149: Forums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Forums
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Forums
157: Forums
158: Forums
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Forums
165: Forums
166: Forums
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Forums
172: Photo Albums
173: Forums
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Forums
177: Forums
178: Forums
179: Forums
180: Forums
181: Forums
182: Forums
183: Forums
184: Forums
185: Forums
186: Forums
187: Forums
188: Forums
189: Your Account
190: Your Account
191: Forums
192: Forums
193: Forums
194: Forums
195: Forums
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Forums
199: Home
200: Forums
201: Forums
202: Forums
203: Forums
204: Forums
205: Forums
206: Forums
207: Forums
208: Forums
209: Forums
210: Forums
211: Photo Albums
212: Forums
213: Forums
214: Your Account
215: Forums
216: Forums
217: Forums
218: Forums
219: Forums
220: Forums
221: Forums
222: Forums
223: Home
224: Home
225: Forums
226: Forums
227: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 307
 Pictures: 2397
  · Views: 718232
  · Votes: 1313
  · Comments: 86
 

Loud Music
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Go to page 1, 2  Next
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
BigBlue
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 16, 2006
Posts: 1108
Location: Lehigh Township, Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:14 pm    Post subject: Loud Music Reply with quote

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Don
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Donut Slayer
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2007
Posts: 594
Location: Pensacola, Florida

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 8:39 am    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Ha ha ha ha. Sounds like something I would do.

_________________
Browning X-Bolt in 30'06. The work for a pet load starts again. Wink The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11016
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 10:35 am    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Putt, putt, putt, putter, putt, putt, putty, putt... Embarassed

And the song was??? Very Happy

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 8361
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:51 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

classic... after a hot curry etc I always think of that cool Johny Cash classic "Burning Ring Of Fire"

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
chambered221
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 3455
Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:09 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Ultimate fart song here Fart

_________________
Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11016
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Aah...For petey sake Big Blue...See what you've done?? Now we will waste page after page on this problem you have with loud music... wtf

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
chambered221
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 3455
Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 7:03 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Sorry !!! Couldn't resist the urge !!! ROFL


Plain Jane. One-second duration, nice resonant reverberation, and pungent odor cloud with a nearly instantaneous 5-foot radius. Your standard, everyday, friendly fart.

Beefy One. Sounds loud and butch, e.g., 'BRAAAMMPPP!' Smells like a cross between a decaying meadow muffin on a hot day and a fresh dog-turd.

Eggy. Smells very much like rotten eggs (or hydrogen sulfide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster (see below).

Bunbuster. 'BRAAAP!' Sounds something like a Beefy One, except much more sudden and much more powerful. May smell either eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.

Ripper. Sends seismic ripples to the next town. Rips the seams in the crotch of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby may experience hearing loss.
Kliban cartoon of powerful fart

Diesel. Sputters to a start, but then keeps putt-putting along spewing out an endless cloud of dirty, noxious fumes.
Surprise! You didn't even know that it was there, but suddenly . . . 'BRRMP!' Yellow surprise

Gunshot. Sounds just like a gunshot. Unbelievably loud indoors. Hard to believe that this emanates from between your buttocks. Bullet explodes into billions of virulent odor molecules. Gunshot farts are relatively rare but, like guns, very dangerous.
You can't make an omlette without breaking wind, a B. Kliban cartoon

Squeaky. Puny and unsatisfying. Sounds a bit like a muffled 'Wheeeek,' but smells foul.

Worrier. The kind that seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage, matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the first possible opportunity.

ToiletPoopie Prelude. It feels like it's going to be a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny little squeaker fart plus the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.

Present. The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a small poop as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet and give thanks you weren't in a business meeting or job interview when it happened. If you were, you're screwed.

Burble. Bubbly! Sometimes messy too.

SBD (Silent But Deadly). Totally inaudible but somehow causes all the occupants in a room to collapse. Smell is undefined because nasal investigators haven't had time to analyze the odor before passing out. (This one is also known as SBL: Silent But Lethal and Toxic Assassin.)
Dangerous Gases sign!

GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost). You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?

Hydrated. The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. Try to avoid this one if you're wearing white trousers.

Not Now Please! You feel the presence of a mighty fart but are unable to release it due to your situation (first date, new customer, important business meeting, etc.). You clench your buttocks together so hard you nearly have a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends upon a number of factors, but in the end you're probably going to have to face the music (literally). Or you can try the stealth approach (see below).

Who, Me? You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.

Waker-Upper. The first fart of the morning. All that broccoli, beans, and beer you had for dinner last night has decayed and fermented into about 1,000 ml of noxious gas just dying to escape from your rectum. Whether you let go under the covers when you first wake up or hold it until you're taking your early morning pee, releasing that first fart of the day feels oh, so good and sets the tone for the whole day.
Fireball

Electrical. Sound like they have some juice in them.

Dutch Oven. A fart you make in bed -- any kind at all -- followed up by holding your partner's head under the bedclothes so that he/she can get the full effect of it. Good for moving a stalled divorce process along. Very bad early in your marriage.

_________________
Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
BigBlue
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 16, 2006
Posts: 1108
Location: Lehigh Township, Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 7:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Aah...For petey sake Big Blue...See what you've done?? Now we will waste page after page on this problem you have with loud music... wtf
It took a while, but it finally flushed everyone out. Hopefully we don't waste too much hot air on this and quickly put it behind us.
Don
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
BigBlue
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 16, 2006
Posts: 1108
Location: Lehigh Township, Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 7:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:

And the song was??? Very Happy
Yankee Doodle!
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11016
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 7:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Think I'll go out and get somemore wood for the fire. Vince, will you refill the cooler? Looks like this is going to be a long one...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 11:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

There sure is a bad aroma in this thread, what have you guys been up to Shocked ............... oh never mind. See ya I'm leaving, sure not sticking around this thread. Wave

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14650
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:10 am    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Plenty of beer on board Bushy...threw in a pack of clothes pegs on the off chance that it all becomes too much.

Oh, and while we're on the subject...
Ya know why farts stink? there's two reasons actually...
For the benefit of those that didn't hear it, and...
So deaf people can enjoy them as well.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
BigBlue
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 16, 2006
Posts: 1108
Location: Lehigh Township, Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:14 am    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Vince wrote:


Oh, and while we're on the subject...
Ya know why farts stink? there's two reasons actually...
For the benefit of those that didn't hear it, and...
So deaf people can enjoy them as well.

Cheers, Vince

Glad I'm not the only one perpetuating this stinkin' post.
Don
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
TankGunner
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Dec 16, 2009
Posts: 14
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 4:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Best way to operate the DUTCH OVEN is to spit at the ceiling
The other half will dive under the bedclothes and you glamp em down
TG

_________________
This ain't no dress rehersal.
Back to top
View user's profile
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8100
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 6:24 pm    Post subject: Re: Loud Music Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Ya know why farts stink? there's two reasons actually...
For the benefit of those that didn't hear it, and...
So deaf people can enjoy them as well.

Cheers, Vince

Vince, you are always bringing a chuckle to my day! Thanks mate!
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 2
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Go to page 1, 2  Next



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.