I OWE MY MOTHER

Vince · Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:17 pm Post subject: I OWE MY MOTHER

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning." Fighting

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet." Pray

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!" Viking

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why." Argue

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not
going to the store with me." Question

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident." Flame

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." Whip

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper." Confused

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" wtf

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." Blah

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." Party

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't
exaggerate!" Exclamation

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." Sniper

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!" Insane

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do." King

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home." and
"Just wait until your Father gets home." Crying or Very sad

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!" Whip

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck
that way." Werd

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" Confused

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't! come running to
me." wtf

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." Yuck

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father." Insane

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a
barn?" wtf

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand." Cool

25. And my favorite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like
you." Jaw Drop

Ahhh, Mothers, don't you love em to bits. Love

Dimitri · Super Member Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5946

:rofl2:

Dimitri

sniper · Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 10:30 pm Post subject: Re: I OWE MY MOTHER

They don't all LOOK alike, but they sure sound alike, don't they? Very Happy