RULES O" THE SOUTH
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#1: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: fireball 3, Location: northern calif PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 6:12 pm
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AMEN TO THIS !!!!!!!!

The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!


1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.


2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.


3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.


4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.


5. So you have a $70,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.


6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.


7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.


8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.


9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.


10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.


11. We say "sir and ma'am", "please and thank you", "excuse me and I'm sorry" when we are wrong or impolite. Do not make the mistake of thinking it makes us weak. It's just good up-bringing.


12. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

13. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!


14. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.


15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.


16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it frightens the fish, and aggravates the alligators.


17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

18. Don't think that since we talk slow, we think slow. You may be in for a surprise.


19. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.


20. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump stuff ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room

As they say in the south, We ain't perfect, But we're gettin' there!!
#2: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: hunterjoe21, Location: Miles City, Montana PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:45 pm
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fireball 3 wrote:
13. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!


LOL..............

The Queenies eat that crap by the bucketful.....

Never seen anyone from outside the area even come close to holding it in....

The WORST attempt at relating a food to a city ever...........

Pizza

New York and Chicago been fightin over it for years

BBQ

KC leads without a doubt, divide it into pork vs. beef we might have a debate

Seafood

(I don't it eat, but I'm gonna guess New England somewhere, besides what comes from Alaska)

Italian American foods (besides pizza)

Again...New York and Chicago can't be beat

Good Old Fashioned Steak Dinner

I'm kinda partial, but NE Ohio has some great steakhouses. I guess you can fill in your favorite here. (Bet it's NOT in Cincy, they ground up all the good steaks to make brown chili.

Chili??

Who gives a crap?
'till 12 hours after you eat the "brown"stuff.
#3: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: Bushmaster, Location: Ava, Missouri PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 7:10 am
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And this man's from the USSR of C...Good piece Fireball 3. It's to bad that this fine country couldn't believe and live like that everywhere...We would be indistructable...

Last edited by Bushmaster on Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:53 am; edited 1 time in total
#4: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: WileyWapiti, Location: NW Colorado PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:18 am
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Is it just me or is life becoming less interactive? People are in such a hurry all the time - when was the last time somebody behind the counter actually counted back your change instead of some snot nosed punk handing you a wad of 1's and some change saying "here's your change". I will have to say, I am a mountain boy divided between growing up in Wyoming and Colorado, but as much as I love this area, I am ALWAYS treated well and with respect in the South, besides me being partial to cheese grits and eating at Schoney's and to think that drinking something other than sweet tea is crazy (this is me, I love these things!), I am not sure what is NOT to love about our Southern Brothers/Sisters. I will say that the Midwest is a close second for hospitality. this obviously does not account for all the nice folks everywhere, but we have to admit like Bushy says, it is too bad we all couldn't be like that - it would make us a better and stronger country.
#5: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: rdncktink, Location: Hwaseong, South Korea PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:39 am
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Count back change, heck the girl had to use a calculator to figure out that my change was a nickel.

And my dad got the posting from me, my friend sent it and got it from her Aunt in KY. Always thought this part of California needed to move over about 4 states and south. Very Happy
#6: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: SwampFox, Location: Destin, Florida PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:51 am
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Most rural Southern folks take some pride in the way that they were brought up. It is just something that is part of the Old South, a genteele upbringing. I am afraid that the old ways are fading with the times and MTV.
Ed
#7: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: Bushmaster, Location: Ava, Missouri PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:57 am
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You need to get out of Destin and try Ava...Southern friendship, hospitality and helping your neighbor (for free or just because) is still in vogue...
#8: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: shrpshtrjoe, Location: Maryland PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:17 pm
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Bushmaster wrote:
You need to get out of Destin and try Ava...Southern friendship, hospitality and helping your neighbor (for free or just because) is still in vogue...

Thats the way all places should be. When I go see my dad in ASH Co. NC It's like that there. When ya get on the mountain It's like takin a step back to a better time Very Happy .
Joe
#9: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: 1895ss, Location: Not Here...!! PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:28 pm
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SwampFox wrote:
Most rural Southern folks take some pride in the way that they were brought up. It is just something that is part of the Old South, a genteele upbringing. I am afraid that the old ways are fading with the times and MTV.
Ed

You are so right.......... Sad
#10: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: coyotehunter_1, Location: Tennessee (USA) PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:04 pm
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Cheers
#11: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: ElyBoy, Location: Forest Lake Minnesota PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 8:08 pm
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That is how I grew up, and I was raised "Up North".
You forgot #14-If you don't like Country Music you can kiss my A**!!!

Eric
#12: Re: RULES O" THE SOUTH Author: keetoowah, Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:37 pm
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all i can say is
i am proud to be southerner born and bred.
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