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Don't mess with old people, especialy old women.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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lesterg3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1267
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 4:36 am    Post subject: Don't mess with old people, especialy old women. Reply with quote

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.

AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.

THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13135
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 4:47 am    Post subject: Re: Don't mess with old people, especialy old women. Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

Pure gold Lester...thanks mate

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7128
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 5:53 am    Post subject: Re: Don't mess with old people, especialy old women. Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Pure gold Lester...thanks mate

Plus 1 to that!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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RePete
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 771

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 7:25 am    Post subject: Re: Don't mess with old people, especialy old women. Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.

Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7021
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:12 am    Post subject: Re: Don't mess with old people, especialy old women. Reply with quote

awesome start to the day reading that.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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