My apologies for my unexplained absence, but I've just had a very hard and upsetting fortnight.

I got a phone call at 2am on Friday 8 Jun telling me that my Dad was in ICU at his local hospital after having a heart attack. I had been talking to him only a couple of hours earlier and he was as chirpy as they come. Needless to say Tricia and myself jumped on the first available plane (5am) to Sydney from Brisbane.

We arrived at the hospital at about 10am and found Dad in a very bad way. The Drs didn't expect Dad to last initially the night, then the day...but he hung on, mainly because he's an obstinate bugger that won't give up. That afternoon his kidneys began to fail and his lungs developed fluid so the fight was on in earnest. Again the Drs said, "That's it"....you need to decide if he is to be resusitated if his heart fails again". We said that he is a fighter and we wanted to give him every chance;see how things are in another 24 hours. To cut a long story short, Dad fought like a trooper for another six days before dropping into a coma. Luckily we had a couple of opportunities to speak with him before that happened, although he had a lot of difficulty talking to us because of the drugs in his system.

At 10:30am on Thursday 14 June 2007 he lost his fight to survive. He was 3 months and 9 days short of his 90th birthday.

None of us were with him when he finally succumbed and we tend to believe that he maybe planned it this way. He waited until we were all out of the room. We had been telling him for the past day or so that he had nothing to worry about; that Mum will be looked after; that he could go if he was happy with that, that there was no need for him to hang on and suffer anymore. We just think that he didn't want us there when he went.

Once we got over the worst of his passing one of my brothers and I had to start arranging his funeral and financial matters, ensuring that Mum is looked after. Without a doubt it was the hardest five days of my life. I arranged the funeral then had to get my daughters down to Sydney along with my bagpipes, kilt etc because Mum reminded me that I promised Dad many years ago that I would play at his funeral. I 've played at many, many funerals, but this one was without question the hardest I have ever had to do. I never want to go through it again, but unfortunately I know that I will have at least one more to do...when Mum passes.

We allowed a couple of days after the funeral to make sure that Mum is ok then Tricia and I had to return to Brisbane and our family.

I'm sitting here right now enjoying a cup of coffee liberally laced with rum and trying to remember all the great times I had with Dad.

Rest in Peace Pa....until we meet again.

Cheers,

Vince

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Welcome back though.

Dimitri

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss Vince. You will always have those fond memories to cherish.
I know what you've been going through, and it's hard, cause I made funeral arrangements for both of my parents. One in 1998 the other in 2003.

Nice to see you back.

I lost my dad in 1999 and he too was just a few months short of 90 ..
It's tuff , we knew it was coming someday , but you're never "ready" for it ..
Mum's still high stepping best she can as well ..
In our prayers mate ..

This will sound weird I know but everything will work out best. My Uncle finally let go when my grandma told him she was ready to say goodbye to him.

I was worried for a while last month that I might be having to do the same type of thing for my mom. I was lucky enough to bring her home and am now taking care of her.

Our thoughts are with you and yours at this time.

Hey Vince, You have our sincerest condolences from me and mine. I lost my mother apr. 2000 so I know how you feel.

Our thanks to each and every one of you for your prayers, thoughts and blessings. You have no idea how much they help.

I think that it will take me quite some time to get over Dad's passing. I can no longer pick up the phone and ask his advice or guidance...I had a thousand questions I wanted to ask but now I can't.

Once again, thank you all for your comforting words.

Cheers, Vince

my condolence vince. just go day by day and you'll survive this ordeal. we lost my mom in 2005. it was hard to deal with but time took over. Keep a stiff chin my friend. Dave

I am sorry about your loss Vince.
To be brash, I am glad that he did not suffer the indignity of not be able to look after himself for too long.

My father is in a nursing home since he suffer a stroke 4 years ago, he could not even feed himself, let alone do anything else personal. It is killing me inside when he asks for a quicker release. I could not fulfill his need and I could not see him suffer also.

Sorry to hear of your loss Vince. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Joe

gelandangan wrote:

I am sorry about your loss Vince. To be brash, I am glad that he did not suffer the indignity of not be able to look after himself for too long. My father is in a nursing home since he suffer a stroke 4 years ago, he could not even feed himself, let alone do anything else personal. It is killing me inside when he asks for a quicker release. I could not fulfill his need and I could not see him suffer also.

Thanks Gelan. You are not being brash mate....just realistic. Dad always said that he did not want to die in hospital, he wanted to die at home. It hurt us terribly to not be able to take him home, but it wouldn't have been fair to him, he would have suffered at the end.

With your Dad, all you can do is make him as comfortable as possible and ask the Doctors to do the same. The Doctor that was looking after my Dad said that if Dad had any discomfort he would make sure that he would fix it so Dad was comfortable so he didn't suffer. I know how I "read" what he said and I did not have a problem with his "suggestion".

Spend as much time with your Dad as you can mate because once he is gone you will wish you had.

In fact I say that to everyone here. Never take your parents for granted and as they age spend as much time as you can with them. If you have a question you wish to ask them, do it. Once gone, they are a long time dead.

Once again, thank you to all for your thoughts and kind words....they are a massive help.

Cheers, Vince

Vince - my man, you are a trooper - I can tell the cut of your jib by your first post on this string...."I'm sitting here right now enjoying a cup of coffee liberally laced with rum and trying to remember all the great times I had with Dad." I lost a very close Uncle a handful of years back, to this day I will see something or hear something that reminds me of one great time or another - I truly cherish those memories and it does help! I hope when it is my time that I will have a similar effect on my loved ones - good memories. Good memories, bad memories is irrelevent, you have lost a dear one, we all share in your loss. Chin up, chest out, know that we are all here to hold you up mate!
I am glad you are back, my thoughts are with you and your family, God speed trooper!

Wiley old mate, I can only reiterate what I have already said.....thank you, from the heart, for your kinds words. As you have said, we are all here to help....this I know, and the support that I am receiving is second to none.

I know that regardless who it is amongst us that suffers a loss, each and every one of us are here to help him or her bear the load of the loss. That is what being friends/mates/buddies is all about.....unconditional help and support.

Cheers, Vince

Late in giving my condolences to you sweet mate.
moving and getting internet back on has kept me away.
so very sorry for your loss
you and yours are always in my prayers.
blessed be

Saddened to hear of your father passing Vince.
Love to you and your family.