Elderly Irish Virgin

radar · Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:02 am Post subject: Elderly Irish Virgin

The Elderly Irish Virgin!!!

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it.
Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper 'final' arrangements. As a last wish, she informed theundertaker
that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:
'BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN'

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully.A fewdays after thefuneral,as the undertaker-- postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen Hethought long and hard about how he could fulfil the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.
For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and dulyengraved, and it read as follows:

'RETURNED UNOPENED'

multigauge · Rookie Member Joined: Apr 16, 2008 Posts: 24

That reminds me of the following epitaph:

Here lie the bones of Abigail Jones
For her life held no terrors.
She lived an old maid, she died an old maid-
No hits, no runs, no errors.

slimjim · Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 5:52 pm Post subject: Re: Elderly Irish Virgin

Radar, thanks for the chuckle!