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Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Site Admin
Site Admin

Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15091
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 7:26 am    Post subject: THE JACKAROO Reply with quote

A West Queensland Jackaroo was herding his cattle in a remote pasture when suddenly a

brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.? The driver, a young

man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out

the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and

calves you have in your herd,will you give me a calf?"

The Jackaroo looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at

his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"?

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it

to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he

calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his

location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area

in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop

and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.?

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been

processed and the data stored.? He then accesses a MS-SQL database through

an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few

minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer

and finally turns to the Jackaroo and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right.? Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the Jackaroo.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant for the National Political Party." says the Jackaroo.

"Wow!? That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the Jackaroo. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid

for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.? You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a damn thing about cattle........?

Now give me back my dog." wtf

Cheers, Vince

Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Super Member

Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:54 am    Post subject: Re: THE JACKAROO Reply with quote



A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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