Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumberyard.

One of the men walked into the office and said,

"We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check."

After a while he returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're going to build a house."

Ha ha! Good for a morning chuckle!

Musta went to Auburn University.

Nothing like a little chuckle over coffee and cinamon roll...

man that must have been the apprentice on his first week.
Ive heard of them being sent out to the hardward store for" a long weight"
or course a long wait is what they got.
tartan paint
post holes
the best one was a mate of mine got sent by his building work mates for some glass nails..... well he wasnt dumb and went to the picture framers and got some!!!!! cost his boss a fortune but he saw the funny side of it.

We had a routine at the garage I worked at.

Send the young lad to the parts dept for a can of compression, the partsman would send him to another mechanic, who would send him to another mechanic and so on. The kid would come back empty handed, but then you tell him that you had a can.

It kept him out of your hair for a bit.

Let's see here...Left handed hammers, a bucket of chow line or a bucket water line....Oh yes...And sending a boot camper to the bow to watch for the mail buoy.

A navy friend of mine said that their favorite was sending someone for a bucket of steam to clean with. The smart guy came back with a damp bucket and said "That's funny, it was full when I left!"

At work I always ask for the metric adjustable wrench ...

Oh yeh...And I just happen to have one. A Metric adjustable spanner

And there is the "Relative bearing grease"...

Pumpkinslinger wrote:

At work I always ask for the metric adjustable wrench ...

I bought one when I went to Greece the first time, just in case someone asked for that.

Dimitri

We had a young bloke from another Squadron (fast jets) sent down to my squadron (propeller driven Caribous) for a bucket of "Prop Wash" and some K9P lubricant.
He was less than impressed when I handed him a bucket and directed him behind a running aircraft. He was told that K9P was available at the police dog section or at a pinch he could supply it himself..........
Then there's the young bloke looking for a "long weight" :0

Don't forget to replace your muffler bearings.

Don't forget to replace your muffler bearings.

We had young Argentinian turn up to rugby one night because he thought he might like to play, he said he knew the field positions until the coach asked him if he ever played Left Right Out, the kid hadn't heard of that position and we were left laughing ourselves silly....took him a while to get it. Turned out to be an alright player too.

I regularly tell clients (criminals) to go cough a long way away -Far Cough, they don't get it!