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if you have time for some thoughts
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 4330
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2019 1:24 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

We have always been good at communicating with each other. She is scared and me too a little bit, I know that the cancer can be fought and beaten but I wonder if my wife is up to that fight. She gives in too easily sometimes and this is going to take a strong will to beat it.
We are facing it together and I will help her where I can. The thing is she has already started to stay away from the things she loves the most - like gardening - she loves to help the plants to grow and mature and loves to collect the fruit and preserve it, Now it is me out there fighting the weeds and watering the plants to get them ready for harvest. That scares the heck out of me. It's like she has already given up.
I talked to her about it and she says that right now she can't be out in the sun... but this is damage that was done decades ago. I accept it for her benefit but I don't like the implications.

Thank you all for your prayers. You have no idea what that means to us, it is a HUGE aid.
Blessings to each and all of you.

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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2019 4:40 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

Paul,
If this is whats happening now before treatment can I suggest some getting her some counciling and some coping strategies.
A positive mind set makes things easier.
I found that you are stronger than you think you are and the ability to roll with the proces is important.
How treatment effects her wont be known until it begins, so not a lot is accomplished by worrying about it, and as I mentioned before its nearly impossible not to.
If shes now afraid of of sun exposure, yep shes left it to late this damage happened 20 to 30 years ago.
A big hat, sun screen and long sleeves and pants and sun glasses will protect from UV light in the sun. Come visit Queensland where on a quiet summers day the UV index is over 15, which is extreme, so I speak from some experience.
The unknowns of cancer do shoot the bum out of your ability to look to the future, make plans etc, it is very daunting and quite pervasive.
Talk to your doctor and see if there are any support groups she could talk to.
Cancer isnt a death sentence these days, it can just feel that way some times, at times it will be hard, there may be set backs or the treatment might be smooth sailing, which I hope it is, but a positive outlook and doing what you enjoy is important if only to remind yourself why you are having the treatment in the first place.
Stay positive, did I mention that?

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Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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PaulS
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Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2019 11:37 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

it is easy for me to stay positive I just worry about her.
We'll get through this, together.

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Paul
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
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Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:53 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

I took my wife to surgery and it didn't take long - about 1.5 hours - and they say that they got it all. We removed the dressing today and it looked clean so we washed the small amount of dried blood off and put a new dressing on it. It looks like all our prayers were answered.

I want to thank you all for your voices and give each of you a big brawny thank you hug!
Cheers Hug Cheers Party
And offer you your favorite beverage!
Thank you folks!

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Paul
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6403
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:56 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

Congratulations .
Very happy to hear that.

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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:52 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

Good news Paul.
Hug accepted.

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Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Pumpkinslinger
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 5005
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 6:34 am    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

Good news! We'll keep thinking about you both!

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"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15729
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 3:17 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

Fantastic news Paul. Pass on my thoughts and continued prayers to SWMBO mate.

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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PaulS
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Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 3:32 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

My lovely bride is emotionally a lot better! She is tired of the stitches pulling and not being able to do the things she normally does but I am keeping the household together and I get her chocolate each time I go to the store. She has a low pain threshold and the doctor didn't think any meds would be required but I can tell it is getting to her. If I distract her with other things she forgets about the pain for a while and that helps. I ask her if it is time to get my machete, which has been a running joke since before it was diagnosed, and we get into a fake discussion of where to chop. She ends up laughing. She will be fine in a week or so when the incision knits together and the strain is off the stitches.
I am getting some of the things done in preparation for the house painting. I built a new set of stairs for the back door and got them all assembled. They are made out of pressure treated lumber, cut to size and given three coats of Varathane before assembly and then the assembled stairs were given a final coat. We should be able to use them tomorrow about noon.
I have to do dishes before fixing dinner tonight - maybe I will wait until after dinner and do them all at once.
I need to do some reloading too! I have to load some new loads to test through my ARs and I need to load a bunch for my 40 caliber now that I have a load that has a standard deviation of 7.3 fps with 1100 fps muzzle velocity.

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Paul
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15729
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:29 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

You’re a busy boy Paul...but I’m sure SWMBO appreciates your stepping up to the plate mate.

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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pete4d
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Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 957
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 3:54 am    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

Good news , Paul.

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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1709
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 2:18 pm    Post subject: Re: if you have time for some thoughts Reply with quote

I'm glad the outcome's been pretty positive matey.
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