HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: IPutMoInYoA
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13131

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 265
BOT: 2
Total: 267
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Your Account
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Your Account
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Your Account
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Home
15: Forums
16: Home
17: Home
18: Forums
19: Home
20: Forums
21: Home
22: Your Account
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Home
27: Home
28: Forums
29: Home
30: Forums
31: Your Account
32: Home
33: Home
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Home
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Home
42: Home
43: Photo Albums
44: Home
45: Forums
46: Home
47: Forums
48: Your Account
49: Home
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Home
56: Home
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Home
60: Home
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Home
64: Home
65: Home
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Home
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Your Account
77: Home
78: Forums
79: Home
80: Photo Albums
81: Forums
82: Home
83: Forums
84: Home
85: Home
86: Home
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Home
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Your Account
93: Your Account
94: Forums
95: Your Account
96: Your Account
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Your Account
100: Forums
101: Your Account
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Home
105: Forums
106: Home
107: Forums
108: Home
109: Home
110: Forums
111: Home
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Home
123: Forums
124: Forums
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Your Account
131: Forums
132: Your Account
133: Forums
134: Your Account
135: Photo Albums
136: Forums
137: Forums
138: Home
139: Forums
140: Home
141: Home
142: Forums
143: Home
144: Forums
145: Home
146: Home
147: Forums
148: Home
149: Your Account
150: Your Account
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Your Account
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Photo Albums
157: Forums
158: Your Account
159: Forums
160: Home
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Forums
165: Home
166: Home
167: Forums
168: Home
169: Forums
170: Home
171: Forums
172: Home
173: Forums
174: Home
175: Home
176: Forums
177: Home
178: Forums
179: Forums
180: Forums
181: Home
182: Forums
183: Home
184: Forums
185: Home
186: Forums
187: Forums
188: Home
189: Forums
190: Home
191: Home
192: Home
193: Forums
194: Forums
195: Home
196: Forums
197: Home
198: Photo Albums
199: Forums
200: Forums
201: Forums
202: Your Account
203: Forums
204: Forums
205: Home
206: Forums
207: Home
208: Forums
209: Forums
210: Forums
211: Home
212: Forums
213: Photo Albums
214: Photo Albums
215: Forums
216: Forums
217: Home
218: Home
219: Forums
220: Home
221: Forums
222: Your Account
223: Forums
224: Forums
225: Forums
226: Home
227: Home
228: Home
229: Home
230: Home
231: Home
232: Home
233: Photo Albums
234: Forums
235: Home
236: Forums
237: Forums
238: Home
239: Your Account
240: News
241: Forums
242: Home
243: Forums
244: Forums
245: Home
246: Home
247: Forums
248: Forums
249: Forums
250: Forums
251: Home
252: Forums
253: Home
254: Home
255: Forums
256: Forums
257: Forums
258: Forums
259: Your Account
260: Forums
261: Your Account
262: Forums
263: Forums
264: Forums
265: Your Account
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824587
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Life in the Australian Army
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:13 pm    Post subject: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Life in the Australian Army...

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am . But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Sheila
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15718
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Just a few notes in way of explanation for Radar's post:

Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland- about 1500km West of the State Capitol where I live...still in the same State though.

buggered - means tired...not what ya thinkin

Ekka - The annual Exhibition Show in Brisbane for the country folks where they display their livestock etc

it's a piece of piss!! - means about as easy as it can get.

boozer - Bar...where they serve up copious quantities of beer...a great place

Thanks Radar...a great post mate.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Tue May 11, 2010 1:20 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 10:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

No. Thank you Vince, I forgot to include a glossary of terms for our vernacular. Cheers mate
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2010 3:45 am    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Vince, it was fun trying to figure it out. Thanks for the confirmation.

Radar, thanks for the smile today.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Arron
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 20, 2006
Posts: 352
Location: Cen.Iowa, by way of SWIowa

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2010 9:35 am    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Oh I have never known what exactly a "stone" was equal to in weight. The rest I pretty much figured out. Thanks to the EXCELLENT teachings of those "blokes" on here from that side of the world.

_________________
What do I know: I am just a line animal.
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2010 5:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

1 stone is 14 pounds.

So for me, I'm 6ft 2in and 16 stone. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 4:22 am    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Your a big guy! Did you play rugby?
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 7:51 am    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

I did bit, played a bit of football too.

I'd like to eventually get back down to 14 stone or so though (195 pounds) like I was last spring. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 4:39 pm    Post subject: Re: Life in the Australian Army Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
played a bit of football too.

Would that be American Football or Soccer (what the world calls football)?

I thought the Canadians skipped american-style football and just started the hockey season early.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.