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Golf
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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RePete
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 989
Location: Gods Country

PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 3:36 am    Post subject: Golf Reply with quote

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The
first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly

toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the

men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the
ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
She then explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help.
I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just
allow me!" she told him earnestly..

"Ummph, oooh, nnoo, I'll be all right.... I'll be fine in a few minutes," he
replied breathlessly as he remained in a fetal position still clasping
his hands together at his crotch..

But she persisted: and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took
his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her
hands inside, beginning to massage him. "How does that feel?" she asked.

"It feels great." He replied. "But my thumb still hurts like hell!".

_________________
Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.

Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.

My parents spanked me as a child. As a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition known as RESPECT FOR OTHERS.
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 8674
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 1:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Golf Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 957
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 5:56 pm    Post subject: Re: Golf Reply with quote

. Party Cheers Cheers Cheers Parental Advisory Parental Advisory Cheers

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date

The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6225
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 8:49 pm    Post subject: Re: Golf Reply with quote

Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15058
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 9:05 pm    Post subject: Re: Golf Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2833
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 1:20 am    Post subject: Re: Golf Reply with quote

What do you get when you spell golf backwards?
That would come close to the "treatment".........

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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lesterg3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1328
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 10:03 am    Post subject: Re: Golf Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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