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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15718
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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 Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2021 6:10 pm Post subject: Ponderables |
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Imponderables – ponder on these imponderables for a minute:
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as some adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one person enjoys it?
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Cheers, Vince 
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 2650
Location: Malta, Montana
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| Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2021 7:15 pm Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
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Elvis
Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9256
Location: south island New Zealand
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| Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2021 9:34 pm Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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too mecky bro...just too mecky
(too much for you un horis )
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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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pete4d
Super Member
Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 957
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana
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| Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:44 am Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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The last one really cracks me up , Happy New Year , We all needed a good laugh ,,,, thanks
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"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968
When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date
The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!
I'm on the watch list are you ? |
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RePete
Super Member
Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 1035
Location: Gods Country
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| Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 7:28 am Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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| Elvis wrote: |
too mecky bro...just too mecky
(too much for you un horis ) |
Mecky - had to look that one up as I had never heard of the word before. I thought that it might be an Aus or NZ expression.
As usual, this site is a learning experience.
_________________
Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.
Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.
Nice try = You Suck spelled different.
My parents spanked me as a child. As a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition known as RESPECT FOR OTHERS. |
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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1709
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK
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gelandangan
Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6398
Location: Sydney Australia
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| Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 4:02 pm Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15718
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri
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| Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2021 10:37 am Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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Vince is protecting us by keeping secrets, I bet.
_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Vince
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Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1709
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
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Location: Malta, Montana
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri
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| Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2021 12:00 pm Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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WHAT STANDARDS!??!
_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Tremblay
Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 2650
Location: Malta, Montana
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| Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2021 1:38 pm Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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| Bushmaster wrote: |
| WHAT STANDARDS!??! |
_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
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| Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2021 2:35 pm Post subject: Re: Ponderables |
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The will this make Bushy cringe standard......
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Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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