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Before I was a Mum
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13639
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 7:09 pm    Post subject: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

Before I was a Mum I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mum - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mum I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mum I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want
to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mum.

Before I was a Mum - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside
my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and
happy.

Before I was a Mum - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The
wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mum.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mum.

And before I was a Grandma, I didn't know that all those "Mum" feelings
more than doubled when you see that little bundle being held by "your
baby".

Now don't this make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Ain't it the truth.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
Super Member
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5871
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 9:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

Never did I know you've ever been a mum, Vince..
Must be a miracle of science... Very Happy

Real nice words for mums though Smile

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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keetoowah
Super Member
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 9:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

I can relate to these words deeply.

thanks mummy vince.

regards

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13639
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 8:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

Ok, fair enough. I reckon if I was a Mum Bill Gates would be #2 on the list of millionaires.

I meant to add that most, if not all, of these can also apply to us Dads. Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10568
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 6:19 am    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

Good morning Mum...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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tracker
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 8:48 am    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

Hey Mum Sad Sad Sad the other kids at school are pickin' on me cuz me Mum's got a beard Embarassed Sad Sad but we still luvs ya Mum! Hug

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SwampFox
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Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 8:53 am    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

Well now, if the platypus ca do it I guess it is OK.
Ed

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tracker
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 8:59 am    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

Isn't that platypus critter from down around the same area as Mum? Confused Shocked that may explain a few things Smile

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keetoowah
Super Member
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 1:29 pm    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

mums the word..

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13639
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 10:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

OUCH

'Spose I walked face first into this one. Sad

Hey, hang on......I thought only Eyetallian Mum's got beards......well moustaches anyway. I got a Scottish background. Very Happy Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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keetoowah
Super Member
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2007 1:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

and a cool beard!!!
now with this crew Kola did you think anything less from us???

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keetoowah
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2007 1:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Before I was a Mum Reply with quote

thought I was the only mum that wore combat boots
good on ya mum!!
Very Happy Very Happy

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