HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: patrad69
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 13133

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 123
BOT: 1
Total: 124
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Home
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Home
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Home
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Photo Albums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Home
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Home
31: Home
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Home
44: Forums
45: Home
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Home
51: Forums
52: Home
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Contact
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Home
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Home
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Photo Albums
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Home
88: News
89: Forums
90: Home
91: Forums
92: Photo Albums
93: Your Account
94: Home
95: Forums
96: Photo Albums
97: Photo Albums
98: Home
99: Home
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Home
106: Home
107: Your Account
108: Home
109: Forums
110: Photo Albums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Home
120: Forums
121: Home
122: Photo Albums
123: Forums
  BOT:
01: Photo Albums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824943
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

An engineering look at Santa-ism
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6400
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:19 pm    Post subject: An engineering look at Santa-ism Reply with quote

- Found somewhere in the net..
================================================


Merry Christmas!

There are approximately two billion children in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, this comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them, Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles/second in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high-calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6400
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:26 pm    Post subject: Re: An engineering look at Santa-ism Reply with quote

Here is another look of it

web.archive.org/web/20...ysics.html

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:44 pm    Post subject: Re: An engineering look at Santa-ism Reply with quote

Do I detect a note of BAH HUMBUG. Laughing Laughing

Mate, SANTA and his reindeer are extraordinary, special...these speeds and pressures are nothin' to them....he laughs at them...you know the sound...HO HO HO...which in reality is SANTA tryin' to say HO-HO-HOLY SH1Te, slow down a little easier, when ya's speed up be smoother...damn I need another G suit. Laughing

The sonic boom you mention is actually Rudolph clearing some of the chillie alfalfa hay he had the night before. The resultant back blast is what helps them reach the speeds they do in such a short time. Additionally, when he "follows through", it coats the reindeer behind in a heat proof coating of said chillie lucerne rendering them safe from the effects of the lethal heat of the friction.

So mate...enough of the BAH HUMBUG stories....SANTA is alive and living and preparing to do his annual delivery of pressies to all the good people. I know 'cause he answered my letter to him. Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11395
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:30 am    Post subject: Re: An engineering look at Santa-ism Reply with quote

You mean you don't believe in Santa? Gelandangan? Shame on you...You better talk to Joe about this...He's an elf... Very Happy

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6400
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 4:54 pm    Post subject: Re: An engineering look at Santa-ism Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
You mean you don't believe in Santa? Gelandangan? Shame on you...You better talk to Joe about this...He's an elf... Very Happy

Nah Bushy.. I believe.. I believe.. but I musta been bad since I was 10 years old.... my poor mum have to buy me all those presents since then..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
sniper
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:02 pm    Post subject: Re: An engineering look at Santa-ism Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:
- Found somewhere in the net..
================================================


Merry Christmas!

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, this comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

Assuming each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them, Santa would need 360,000 of them. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles/second in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high-calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Boy, engineers just don't get it, do they? Very Happy

"SANTA is dead"...the Engineers. "Engineers, who?"...Santa. Laughing

Wassamatter, Gelan ? Haven't you been shooting your .300 Whisper enough? Sounds like a definite case of cabin fever, to me. Laughing I hope your Christmas was good, and your New Year will be prosperous. "Live long and Prosper"...Spock Very Happy

I just KNEW Vince would figure it all out. Good on ya, mate! ROFL
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.