Wives

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
-James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
-Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: Wife wanted. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine.
-Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!
Second Guy:.You're lucky, mine's still alive.
-Anonymous


Cheers, Vince

I never say anything bad about my wife...She has a 12" cast iron fry pan and I have to sleep sometime...

"Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it."

Dimitri

Mrs G won't be thrilled if I say something witty here..

I think that this can work both ways. But than again ain't married. But a friend here is doing all my honey do's and makes one great fake boyfriend. Guess a fake boyfriend is training wheels for us single gals. So again, can go both ways boys.

Comment by one of my customers on the owners of another fishing tackle shop:

"It's great that Peter & Janice met & married - that way they're only ruining one relationship rather than two."

Good one Mike...I know a few couples like that.

Cheers, Vince