HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: IPutMoInYoA
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13131

People Online:
Members: 2
Visitors: 437
BOT: 1
Total: 440
Who Is Where:
 Members:
01: Bushmaster > Forums
02: Gil Martin > Forums
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Photo Albums
09: Your Account
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Your Account
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Your Account
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Your Account
19: Photo Albums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Your Account
23: Your Account
24: Home
25: Forums
26: Your Account
27: Forums
28: News
29: Forums
30: Home
31: Forums
32: Your Account
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Your Account
36: Your Account
37: Photo Albums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Your Account
41: Your Account
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Your Account
46: Forums
47: Home
48: Home
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Home
53: Home
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Home
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Your Account
62: Forums
63: Your Account
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Your Account
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Your Account
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Home
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Your Account
79: Home
80: Your Account
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Your Account
88: Forums
89: Home
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Your Account
93: Forums
94: Your Account
95: Forums
96: Your Account
97: Forums
98: Your Account
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Your Account
102: Photo Albums
103: Forums
104: Your Account
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Forums
108: Your Account
109: Forums
110: Your Account
111: Your Account
112: Forums
113: Your Account
114: Forums
115: Your Account
116: Your Account
117: Forums
118: Photo Albums
119: Forums
120: Your Account
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Forums
125: Forums
126: Your Account
127: Your Account
128: Your Account
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: Forums
135: Forums
136: Forums
137: Forums
138: Forums
139: Forums
140: Your Account
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Your Account
144: Photo Albums
145: Home
146: Photo Albums
147: Forums
148: Photo Albums
149: Forums
150: Forums
151: Photo Albums
152: Your Account
153: Your Account
154: Forums
155: Your Account
156: Forums
157: Forums
158: Forums
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Home
165: Home
166: Home
167: Home
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Photo Albums
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Forums
174: Your Account
175: Photo Albums
176: Your Account
177: Forums
178: Forums
179: Forums
180: Your Account
181: Forums
182: Your Account
183: Your Account
184: Forums
185: Forums
186: Home
187: Your Account
188: Forums
189: Forums
190: Forums
191: Home
192: Forums
193: Forums
194: Your Account
195: Your Account
196: Home
197: Forums
198: Forums
199: Your Account
200: Forums
201: Your Account
202: Your Account
203: Forums
204: Forums
205: Home
206: Photo Albums
207: Home
208: Forums
209: Forums
210: Your Account
211: Forums
212: Forums
213: Forums
214: Your Account
215: Forums
216: Your Account
217: Your Account
218: Forums
219: Home
220: Forums
221: Forums
222: Your Account
223: Home
224: Photo Albums
225: Forums
226: Your Account
227: Your Account
228: Forums
229: Forums
230: Your Account
231: Forums
232: Forums
233: Your Account
234: Photo Albums
235: Your Account
236: Photo Albums
237: Your Account
238: Forums
239: Photo Albums
240: Forums
241: Home
242: Forums
243: Forums
244: Photo Albums
245: Forums
246: Home
247: Forums
248: Forums
249: Forums
250: Home
251: Forums
252: Forums
253: Forums
254: Your Account
255: Forums
256: Your Account
257: Your Account
258: Home
259: Forums
260: Forums
261: Forums
262: Home
263: Forums
264: Forums
265: Forums
266: Forums
267: Forums
268: Forums
269: Forums
270: Forums
271: Home
272: Forums
273: Forums
274: Forums
275: Your Account
276: Forums
277: Forums
278: Home
279: Forums
280: Forums
281: Home
282: Forums
283: Forums
284: Your Account
285: Your Account
286: Forums
287: Home
288: Your Account
289: Your Account
290: Photo Albums
291: Forums
292: Forums
293: Your Account
294: Forums
295: Forums
296: Your Account
297: Forums
298: Forums
299: Forums
300: Forums
301: Your Account
302: Your Account
303: Forums
304: Forums
305: Home
306: Photo Albums
307: Photo Albums
308: Photo Albums
309: Your Account
310: Forums
311: Forums
312: Your Account
313: Home
314: Forums
315: Your Account
316: Forums
317: Forums
318: Forums
319: Home
320: Photo Albums
321: Home
322: Forums
323: Your Account
324: Your Account
325: Home
326: Forums
327: Your Account
328: Your Account
329: Photo Albums
330: Your Account
331: Forums
332: Forums
333: Photo Albums
334: Forums
335: Your Account
336: Home
337: Forums
338: Forums
339: Forums
340: Your Account
341: Forums
342: Forums
343: Forums
344: Photo Albums
345: Home
346: Forums
347: Your Account
348: Forums
349: Home
350: Home
351: Home
352: Your Account
353: Your Account
354: Photo Albums
355: Your Account
356: Forums
357: Your Account
358: Forums
359: Forums
360: Your Account
361: Forums
362: Forums
363: Photo Albums
364: Your Account
365: Home
366: Photo Albums
367: Forums
368: Forums
369: Your Account
370: Your Account
371: Your Account
372: Forums
373: Forums
374: Forums
375: Forums
376: Forums
377: Forums
378: Forums
379: Forums
380: Forums
381: Forums
382: Forums
383: Forums
384: Your Account
385: Your Account
386: Forums
387: Your Account
388: Forums
389: Forums
390: Forums
391: Forums
392: Forums
393: Forums
394: Forums
395: Forums
396: Forums
397: Forums
398: Your Account
399: Forums
400: Forums
401: Forums
402: Forums
403: Forums
404: Forums
405: Photo Albums
406: Forums
407: Your Account
408: Forums
409: Your Account
410: Home
411: Forums
412: Forums
413: Forums
414: Forums
415: Forums
416: Forums
417: Forums
418: Your Account
419: Forums
420: Your Account
421: Forums
422: Home
423: Home
424: Forums
425: Forums
426: Forums
427: Forums
428: Forums
429: Forums
430: Forums
431: Home
432: Your Account
433: Forums
434: Forums
435: Your Account
436: Forums
437: Your Account
  BOT:
01: Home

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824588
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

ObamaFlowers
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:11 pm    Post subject: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?

(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.

(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.

(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

(Customer) But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.

(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.

(Customer) Well, how much are they?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.

(Customer) What’s the difference?

(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?

(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?

(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.

(Customer) FlowerAid?

(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.

(Customer) Who said they were a Right?

(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.

(Customer) Whoa…..I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.

(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.

(Customer) I don’t believe this…

(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.

(Customer) Why?

(Receptionist) To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.

(Customer) WHAT? Your can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers!

(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income…..

(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I’ll pay the $9.50..

(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!

(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

(Customer) Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.

(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are using.

(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?

(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir

(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)

(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day…and God Bless America.

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1071
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 12:16 pm    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

Mad Don't want no F'in flowers!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________
"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." Thomas Mann
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9258
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 2:14 pm    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

I will go pick some from the garden
thanks for the heads up Suz
thats not the type of knockers I want at my front door!!

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6400
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:11 pm    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

Damn this would give me nightmares.. Sad
What with SMWBO hinting about flowers for her Xmas present..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15721
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 5:38 am    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

SCHICK SCHICK Go away...I do not want to buy and flowers...now or ever again.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:23 am    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

Our lovely health care law has turned into a joke, a very sick joke indeed. Nothing about it is funny. Obama even took his proud name off of it. He himself will no longer call it Obama Care, now he prefers to call it the Affordable Care Act. HHhmmmm wonder why? House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi went so far as to correct David Gregory on “Meet the Press” Sunday on the proper terminology. And White House talking points distributed to Democrats and obtained by POLITICO repeatedly refer to the Affordable Care Act in suggested sound bites, not Obamacare.

“Obamacare” started out as a pejorative term during Obama’s first campaign, and Republicans, embraced it during protests and rallies against the health care bill. The media generally steered clear as well — using phrases such as “health care reform” to describe the issue.

But Obama last year reappropriated the term for himself, making the phrase a staple of his stump speech and hawking “I (heart) Obamacare” bumper stickers.
“We passed Obamacare — yes, I like the term — we passed it because I do care, and I want to put these choices in your hands where they belong,” Obama said at a typical stop in Iowa last October.

They're still very interested in fooling the public into thinking the insurance cancellations are all the fault of greedy, heartless insurance executives. They like to be the victims and they don't like big corporations. People losing their insurance for more expensive Obamacare, that's the real joke. The people were fools, utter fools, to pay for these garbage policies, which did not even include necessities such as maternity coverage for men, or drug counseling benefits for tee-totalers. His Majesty was doing his ignorant subjects a favor by killing those plans before the pitiful wretches could pay another monthly premium. What a great guy...saving the victims from their suffering.

Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.