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The Purina Diet
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 11:48 pm    Post subject: The Purina Diet Reply with quote

The Purina Diet

I have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart.

While I was waiting in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On an impulse, I told her no, that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete.
So, I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her. Horrified, she then asked me how I came to be in the hospital, had someone poisoned me?

No, not at all I replied, while I was sitting in the street licking my balls a car came by and hit me.

The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from
laughter.

I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.


Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5947

PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 3:36 am    Post subject: Re: The Purina Diet Reply with quote

Haha

That was a good laugh ROFL

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Jack
Member
Member


Joined: Oct 19, 2005
Posts: 98

PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 10:49 pm    Post subject: Re: The Purina Diet Reply with quote

Smile :) Smile
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